Letters to the Editor: 04.27.17

Our readers' comments

All Who Responded

Springs

April 20, 2017

Dear Editor,

You never know when you might need emergency services, and most of us hope we never will, but when that time comes, you certainly hope for a few things: rapid response, compassion, and knowledgeable professional responders.

We are fortunate enough to live in a community where all of this is possible. Earlier this month our daughter suffered a febrile seizure at our home. This is something my husband and I have never had to deal with before so panic set in quickly. “Thank you” to all who responded is hardly enough to offer. We would like to publicly recognize those who helped us in our moments of weakness. 

First we would like to thank our friend and Town Police Officer David Martin, who was already at our home on a friendly visit. He took control of the situation and directed my husband and me on what to do. Thank you to the 911 dispatcher (whom I believe my husband may have screamed at in his moment of weakness, so we also apologize!). Thank you to Town Police Officer Ryan Fink, who responded immediately with oxygen prior to the ambulance’s arrival. A thank-you also to Amagansett Fire Department Chief John Glennon (my brother) for responding and calming my nerves.

Last but not least, a big thank-you to David Baumrind, a Springs paramedic, his partner, Oscar, and their talented driver (unfortunately, I was unable to get his name). Their professionalism and calmness were comforting in a stressful situation!

The swiftness of everyone’s efforts was flawless, and for that we are forever thankful. We can happily say that our daughter has fully recovered. And again, we thank everyone who responded so quickly and professionally!

HEATHER and NAT MILLER 

Under Control 

Amagansett

April 24, 2017

Dear David,

I’d like to thank all the members of the Amagansett Fire Department, which so quickly and professionally responded to the beach grass fire near our house last week. It was amazing how fast they had it under control and then out. 

We live in a town of wonderful talented people that come together to help each other and I am very grateful to be part of it. Again, thank you to all the members of the Amagansett Fire Department.

GLENN HALL

A Little More Lovely

Montauk

April 24, 2017

Dear Editor,

Concerned Citizens of Montauk was thrilled with the wide range of partnerships with business and community groups who participated in C.C.O.M.’s Great Montauk Cleanup on Earth Day.

Camp SoulGrow brought in a busload of energetic young helpers, and students and teachers from the Montauk School brought handmade pamphlets on the impact of plastics on the environment. The generous waste container donation from Mickey’s Carting made it a true community effort.

C.C.O.M. wants to thank everyone who came out despite the chilly rain. We are very grateful to all the sponsoring organizations. 

Innumerable bags of refuse were collected from the bays to the ocean, to many areas in between, and Montauk was made a little more lovely, thanks to all of you. 

DANIELLE FRISCIA

Concerned Citizens of Montauk

Insidious Machines

Amagansett

April 23, 2017

To The Editor:

I searched your April 20 front-page story “Town Eyes Ways to Quell Noise” for any mention of leafblowers, but found only news about aircraft noise. Many of my neighbors (see “Nonstop Leafblowers,” a letter from Christine Ganitsch in the same issue) would, in all likelihood, agree that the noise from these insidious machines is just as annoying as noise from planes and helicopters, and possibly even more so. 

In fact, I was just discussing the leafblower plague with my friend next door here in Amagansett, and he had a wonderful suggestion. He said that in some places in California, leaf blowing is limited to one day per week. We agreed that limiting leaf blowing in East Hampton Town would be a great idea, but since we have more leaves here than they do in California, perhaps a limit to two days per week would be more appropriate. 

We are related to the owners of two landscaping businesses in the area, and I realize that raking leaves and grass the old-fashioned way takes more time and could raise costs for these businesses and rates for their customers, too. But the quiet might just be worth it. What do you and your readers think?

ALICE HENRY WHITMORE

Plastic Waste

Springs

April 23, 2017

Dear David,

It has been great to see the plastic bag ban in effect over the last years, but it seems to have been implemented only at the checkout counters. What about the loads and loads of the plastic bags people fill their carts with from the produce aisle — sometimes one apple in its own bag — every fruit or vegetable bagged separately? I have seen up to 20 bags holding items at checkout counters.

Other than for smaller loose items such as Brussels sprouts or mushrooms, what is the earthly point of bagging each and every produce item? A head of romaine does not need a plastic bag. Nor does a bunch of celery. It is quite a sickening display of plastic waste. 

Even in ‘“ecoconscious” shops like Whole Foods and our own Provisions, customers are checking out with scores of plastic bags. I have never seen anyone come into the stores and re-use any of these bags, so can only assume they are thrown away after use, again and again. 

Personally, I never bag a single item (except the ones mentioned above), and it works perfectly well. If only we could begin to educate stores and consumers to stop using these wasteful, excessive plastic bags that are completely unnecessary and only serve one function — to further the proliferation of plastic waste. 

Please, food shoppers, stop extra-bagging your grocery items! Put it all into your reusable canvas shopping bag and help reduce plastic pollution!

BARBARA THOMAS

A Public Beach

East Hampton

April 24, 2017

Hello David,

The East Hampton Town Democratic Committee and myself, a member, want to congratulate the East Hampton Town Trustees for their persistence in this important round for all access to this public beach by all residents and for all the public that grace our beautiful beaches, who want to be there and enjoy themselves. 

Now, what is wrong with that, especially as it is a public beach, all for one and one for all.

Thank you,

ARLINE GIDION

Getting Things Done

East Hampton

  April 22, 2017

Dear Editor,

I think Pat Mansir did the right thing by resigning from the trustees’ board. I have been trying for more than 10 years to have the trustees repair a broken drain on Soak Hides Road which allows water to flow into Three Mile Harbor. I brought this to the attention of Diane McNally and others for many years. I wrote to a new member this year, Tyler Armstrong, who grew up near Soak Hides. No reply. 

Ms. Mansir was used to getting things done.

JULIA KAYSER

 Worked Well Together

Amagansett

April 20, 2017

Dear David,

As you know, Pat Mansir resigned as a town trustee last week. 

I have known Pat for many years and appreciate her dedication as a town board member and trustee. We worked well together, and I feel fortunate to have gained the knowledge she has shared. 

I wish Pat well in her future endeavors.

Sincerely,

BRIAN BYRNES

East Hampton Town Trustee

The List Goes On

Amagansett

April 21, 2017

To the Editor:

You gotta admire our scrappy town board. Seriously. They continue to fight the good fight over noise abatement at the airport, leaving no stone unturned (“Town Eyes Ways to Quell Noise,” The Star, April 20). They’ve moved one step closer to being heard by the United States Supreme Court. They continue to work with federal and state officials on legislative initiatives. Councilwoman Kathee Burke-Gonzalez, the airport liaison, has worked tirelessly on behalf of residents. And the list goes on. 

Yes, there are competing interests here. But to my thinking, the ability of the many to live out here in relative peace and quiet for a few hours every day trumps the no-holds-barred, self-interest convenience of the entitled few. 

JIM LUBETKIN

 

Table Will Have Seats

Amagansett

April 15, 2017

Dear David, 

It appears that local Republican candidates for town board have stated that their table will have seats for “small-business owners, fishermen, farmers, artists, and environmentalists.” 

Obviously, local Republicans will fire off a missive to Washington insisting on funding the National Endowment for the Arts, as well as insisting on strong resistance to industrial environmental pollution. 

Of course, local Republican candidates will welcome immigrants who happen to be farmers, fisherpersons, and small-business owners. And then they can tackle affordable housing, a townwide tax reassessment, and a centralized school district. I look forward to it.

All good things,

DIANA WALKER

Dictates of Oil

East Hampton

April 24, 2017

Dear David:

On Sunday, Guild Hall hosted a program concerned with the preservation of the waters surrounding the East End. Flanked by scientists supporting their efforts, East Hampton Town Councilman Peter Van Scoyoc and County Legislator Bridget Fleming spoke of their accomplishments in and plans for protecting our marine environment. These efforts have been effective and, at this very moment, the work of our dedicated government could not be more important.

This week, after weeks of publicity, Mr. Trump will sign an executive order designed to rescind regulations adopted by the Obama administration banning offshore oil and gas drilling in dozens of canyons off the East Coast in an area extending from New England to Virginia. Mr. Trump’s order does the bidding of the fossil fuel interests by potentially making these areas open to offshore oil and gas exploration and drilling. The devastating spill in the Gulf of Mexico, caused by the negligence of the oil industry, offers a stark picture of the potential catastrophe posed by drilling off our coast.

Where are our congressmen? In the pockets of the fossil fuel interests. In February, both Lee Zeldin (our congressman) and Peter King (from neighboring Nassau County) voted to allow coal mining companies to dump toxic coal residue in neighboring waterways. This is despite Mr. Zeldin’s empty boast to “work tirelessly . . . to protect our national treasures.” And, despite a promise to “protect Long Island’s waterways,” Mr. Zeldin has sat stone-faced in the face of Mr. Trump’s highly publicized intentions. And, this is despite his crowing about the need to protect the fishing industry. Yet to stand up to Mr. Trump, we should all expect Mr. Zeldin to cave to the fossil fuel industry (read donation dollars) and put our shoreline, and fishing industry, in peril.

The new G.O.P. team that would like to govern our town also has failed to voice any opposition to Mr. Trump’s proposal, despite cloaking themselves in the garb of environmentalists. So, one can only assume by their silence that they, too, are sycophants to the dictates of oil and gas interests. By their silence, we should also assume that their professed interest in environmental issues and the fishing industry is nothing more than political posturing.

I can think of no greater threat to our tourism and fishing industries, not to mention real estate values, than the sight of oil rigs on the horizon from our beaches or the devastation to the fishing grounds from an oil spill of any size.

Thankfully, there already is a group protecting our beautiful communities. It is the current town board (and Ms. Fleming). Trust what they have done, as opposed to what the wannabes say. Actions do speak louder than words — or silence.

Sincerely, 

BRUCE COLBATH

Revolving Fund

East Hampton

April 22, 2017

Dear David:

When I opened the April 20 edition of The Star and saw your editorial I thought I had turned to the paper’s obituary section. Your portrait of the demise of the Environmental Protection Agen­cy and the apparent gallant efforts of New York State do seem skewed, however. One case in point is your trumpeting the $2.5 billion in the state budget for water quality, but you didn’t indicate that in the president’s budget the amount for the E.P.A.-State Revolving Fund was increased, and that is the primary source of this money. Perhaps you should have Trump-eted it that way?

Your mention of Suffolk County and East End “accelerated water-quality” programs is an amusement, and so I realized this wasn’t obituary material as I first thought. Clearly, when you start from zero any increase represents acceleration. Why, that is Newton’s Second Law! The record shows that the  Town of East Hampton has never applied to the E.P.A.-State Revo lving Fund, ever. That’s the aforementioned multibillion-dollar fund that has been around since the 1980s. My former E.P.A. colleague at the fund mentioned that “it is truly disappointing to see the East End communities ignore this fund and their water quality.” The state’s representative said to me in an October call that “the state is ready to assist all towns in obtaining State Revolving funding, but we haven’t heard from them [East Hampton].” That is why the Republican candidates have a plan to utilize this fund, as mentioned to The Star on several occasions.

With regard to your mention of the Deepwater Wind turbine project, the facts show that in a typical August month in England, three wind farms out of seven ate up electricity and didn’t produce it: Knabs Ridge, Lambrigg, and Llyn Alaw, taking 176 kilowatts out of their grid! August is when we need electricity the most, and wind won’t cut it then. Neither is putting storage batteries in a Montauk flood plain, a key component of the Deepwater project. 

Now with regard to our fishermen, the project’s rape of Cox’s Ledge and the desecration of the bottoms of our bays, wetlands, and ocean bottoms either hasn’t been studied or is beginning to be revealed. Even if this project didn’t harm one codfish, do you think our fishermen really can sustain a 43 percent increase in their electric bills, especially after fish quotas have been tightened by the various regulatory agencies? 

This is why my Republican colleagues and I favor using the more than 300 acres of unused airport land for a solar farm that could produce enough electricity for 10,000 East Hampton homes, and the town would own the generating capacity. I believe, using your words, this is the best way to “enjoy the benefits of a greener planet” without our fishermen or any of us “to endure a disproportionate part of the cost.”

Manny, Jerry, and I wrote in our last letter that we wanted an opportunity to explain our “green” approach to you. Alas, like when I was at E.P.A., the phone just doesn’t seem to ring from East Hampton. Happy Earth Day to all.

Sincerely,

PAUL GIARDINA

 

Welcome All Players

East Hampton

April 18, 2017

Dear David

Last weekend and this, there are marches in D.C. and in 500-plus cities around the country, including in Sag Harbor. On Saturday, there was the March for Science; this coming Saturday, the People’s Climate March. These marches are in reaction to Trump administration policies. The administration is proposing about $7 billion in cuts to science funding, including massive cuts to health-care research around the country and evisceration of anything related to the environment, especially climate change. 

Will these marches serve to improve understanding, or will they merely deep­­en the polarization in the populace?

The answer, in my opinion, hangs on how many signs we see like “Conservatives for Action on Climate,” or “Ebola is Bipartisan.” Equally important, I hope the left-leaning marchers will be welcoming to Republicans, rather than treating it as an opportunity for broad disdain. 

These are issues of importance to all of us. Without government-funded research, we would still be visiting relatives in polio wards, and burying family members who succumbed to cancers we now can cure. 

Sixty-five percent of the populace, including a majority of Republicans, are aware of and concerned about climate change. People who are still taken in by “Scientists disagree about man’s influence on climate change” should ask themselves how difficult it would be to get 195 countries, some of which are at war with each other, to agree on anything. That is how many countries agreed in Paris that we must stop burning fossil fuel or face dire disruptions in society the world over. 

Trump’s cynical concessions to the least informed and the monied interests who make billions on fossil fuel threaten to make America a laughingstock on the world stage, and push us closer to catastrophe, despite an overwhelming consensus among the scientific communities of every industrial country. The conversion to non-carbon energy is unstoppable, as prices have fallen and are now competitive with fossil fuel. The second industrial revolution, one that relies on clean energy, is happening, with or without America. 

Will our vaunted reputation for innovation die as a result of this attack on science? Will we be forced to buy the emerging solutions from China, Germany, and others who are presently galloping ahead of us, with full support of their governments, in the race to the future?

I hope not. But we will avoid those developments only if sensible players on both sides get together and face the fact that on this issue, we must welcome all players and find common ground. Conservatives should be aware that there is an emerging movement, led by George Shultz and James Baker, proposing a Conservative Climate Solution. And liberals should look at that proposal with an open mind rather than assuming, if it comes from a conservative, that it must be a trick. It might be the start of working together on an issue that threatens us one and all.

DON MATHESON

Opinions Trump Studies

Springs

April 24, 2017

Dear David:

In one of Kate McKinnon’s last appearances on “Saturday Night Live” as Hillary Clinton, she appeared at the door of an Electoral College voter. In an attempt to persuade the voter to vote for her instead of Mr. Trump, “Mrs. Clinton” warned that “if Donald Trump becomes president, he’ll kill us all.”

Fast-forward just three months. Scott Pruitt, the head of the Environmental Protection Agency, has rejected conclusions of the E.P.A.’s own scientists recommending that one of the nation’s most widely used insecticides be permanently banned. Research by Columbia University found that the effects of the common insecticide, chlorpyrifos, could still be found in the brains of exposed young children even as they were approaching puberty. The study revealed that children exposed to chlorpyrifos in the womb had persistent changes in their brains throughout childhood, and exposure could cause significant health problems, including learning and memory declines. The use of chlorpyrifos in most household settings has been banned since 2000.

In rejecting these studies, which experts concluded were “pretty solid science,” Mr. Pruitt sided with Dow Che­mical (the marketer of the pesticide) and large farming combines, which argued that the “solid” science demonstrating that chlorpyrifos caused such harm was inconclusive. Mr. Pruitt sought unconvincingly to justify his ruling by explaining that the agency desired to provide regulatory certainty to the makers and users of the pesticide by “returning to using sound science in decision-making” and paying lip service to the protection of citizens’ health and the environment. 

So, self-serving industry opinions trump empirical scientific studies — even when it comes to our health. It seems that when inconvenient truths get in the way of Mr. Trump’s agenda, they are no longer truths in his alternative universe.

Wash your apples.

CAROL O’ROURKE

Horror Stories

East Hampton

April 17, 2017

Dear David, 

My father was an obstetrician-gynecologist. Before 1973 he spent way too much of his time saving the lives of desperate women who had unclean, unsafe, unsterile, rusty-coat-hanger, back-alley abortions. They came to him hemorrhaging. They came to him with life-threatening infections. He did everything he could to save them, and he saved many. I know of two cases of a women who died — someone who had everything to live for — because she didn’t get to my father in time.

That’s one doctor and two cases. Surely there were other cases that I don’t know about. And how many other doctors could provide similar horror stories?

If we make abortion illegal, we will not stop it; we will just send it underground, and some women will die.

In the logic-escapes-me department, many of the same people who want to make abortion illegal want to make it difficult, if not impossible, for women to obtain birth control. And why defund Planned Parenthood? They spend very little time dealing with abortion and a lot of time helping women prevent unintended pregnancies. This is an excellent anti-abortion. It is all the more reason for us to support Planned Parenthood, because they do everything they can to prevent the need for abortion.

STEPHEN SOBEL

Abu Ivanka

Springs

April 23, 2017

Hi, David,

Lover’s Spat:

J: Honey, did you see my flak vest?

I: Flak? What brand is that?

J: Not a brand, sweetie, a type of vest.

I: What about an Ivanka brand? What are you thinking? Flak?

J: Darling, it’s a heavy, protective vest I got from Dad. Desert Camo.

I: Desert Camo is uber passé! What are we, the Bushes? And frankly, that one, it stank!

J: It was diesel.

I: Diesel? DIE-sel! What is wrong with you, Jared? You need to wear my brand, Ivanka. Ivanka, don’t you get it? What are we doing here? Why are we living in D.C. instead of N.Y.? Diesel? I’ll give you a diesel — 

J: Baby, calm down. It smelled of diesel oil from the A.P.C., the trip to Iraq, remember?

I: Of course I remember. Iraq. My brands are licensed there, too, and more renewable than diesel for sure. I mean, they even call Daddy “Abu Ivanka.” So cute. 

J: And well they should, baby doll! You’ve made a lot more deals in a hundred days than he has. For sure. I mean, China alone . . .

I and J (Giggling): Xi hee.

All’s well that ends well — and the sooner the better.

IRA BAROCAS

Less Me, More We

Springs

April 23, 2017

To the Editor:

Politicians versus veterans. As veterans are getting on in years, we listen to their stories of the past conflicts they were in, and the deeds they had done. Yes, they were heroes every one. But each and every day we are losing veterans as they pass on. These are the veterans we honor on Memorial Day.

When politicians die their bodies lie in state, while thousands note their passing. Newspapers tell their life stories from the time they were young. But the passing of a veteran goes unnoticed, except by his family.

Does the welfare of our country depend on someone who breaks his promise or cons his fellow man, or the ordinary men and women who in times of need go to serve their country and offer up their lives? The politicians pay and the way that they live is at times very disproportionate to the service they give. Whereas the veteran, who has offered his all, receives a medal and perhaps a small pension.

It is not the politicians who won for us all the freedom that all of us enjoy today. Ask yourself, if you are in danger with your enemies at hand, do you really believe you want someone who cops out with compromise and ploys, or would you prefer a veteran who has sworn to defend their country, home, and family? Veterans’ ranks are growing smaller, but it should remind us we might need their service again. For when countries are in conflict, the servicemen and women of our country stand ready to clean up all the trouble politicians start. Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday. 

Politicians should remember they have responsibility, not power. We as a nation are limited not by our abilities but by our vision. Adversity is a fact of life, it can’t be controlled. What we can control is how we react to it.

Simply stated, teamwork is less me and more we. It’s time for Congress to wake up. This means both parties.

Like swift water, an active mind never stagnates. Where we go and what we do advertises who we are. Procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried. The biggest shortage of all is common sense. 

When others shout to try and prove their point, one should be more concerned with what their conscience whispers.

There are no foolish questions, only foolish silence. Questions will always be the creative acts of intelligence.

TOM BYRNE

What Has Changed?

Amagansett

April 24, 2017

Dear David,

I have a couple of questions for Amagansett residents. For years our Amagansett School was run by one administrator for approximately 100 students (grades prekindergarten through sixth grade) and staff members. Now we have three administrators for the same number of students. 

What has changed that we need more administration? 

Why did the school board approve this in Amagansett? 

I could see it if there were more teachers hired for additional student needs, but not for more administrators.

At the board meeting on March 28, the budget was presented and approved to go to the taxpayers for vote. The budget presented is proposing an increase in our taxes due to additional students going to the middle school. Wouldn’t eliminating two of the administrators achieve the goal to keep taxes the same?

The budget vote is on May 16. Come to the board meetings to be informed. Also look online, at aufsd.org for meeting dates and times of board meetings, agendas of upcoming meetings, past board minutes, educational philosophy, board goals (their fiscal responsibility to the community), calendar of events, and much more.

MARY EAMES

How it Unfolded

Amagansett

April 24, 2017

Dear Mr. Rattray,

As you know, I have sleep issues and am frequently plagued with disturbing dreams. And these times we live in, it’s not making things any easier. Mary has suggested I not have big meals late at night and stop watching “Mystery Science Theater 3000” at 1 in the morning. And I say, “You’re right.” So now, throw in the guilt from my lack of action on these suggestions and I’m in REM hell.

A few days ago I woke up at about 5 a.m. thinking about life in the White House. I started laughing, almost uncontrollably. That bouncing-on-the-mat­­tress kind of laughing. Have you ever done that, Mr. Rattray? Of course not, what’s wrong with me? 

Anyway, I was thinking about the fact that not only is the president’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, a senior adviser to the commander in chief, his wife, Ivanka Trump, is now an adviser as well, with her own office in the White House. In a statement reported in The New York Times on March 29, she said, “I have heard the concerns some have with my advising the president in my personal capacity,” and then assuring us that she would “serve as an unpaid employee subject to all of the same rules as other federal employees.” 

I have no doubt that Ivanka is a very intelligent young woman. What I found so funny at 5 in the morning was picturing the first meeting in the Oval Office with the president, Mr. Kushner, and Ms. Trump. This is how it unfolded in my reverie:

Donald: Sweetie, what are you wearing?

Ivanka: It’s an Off-Shoulder Eyelet Top from my spring collection. Do you like it?

Donald: Way too far off the shoulder, too much skin, which, don’t get me wrong, I normally go for.

Jared: I have to say, Don, it’s pretty cute!

Ivanka: Thanks, honey!

Donald: Look, Jared, first, don’t call me Don, or Dad, for that matter. Gotta be politically correct about things now. It’s Mr. President, or Sir. Understood?

Jared: Yes, Mr. President. HaHaHa!

Ivanka: Daddy, the top is really sweet, and it’s one of our most popular pieces!

Donald: Look, honey, we know who your daddy is. But no “daddy” in the White House. Are we clear?

Ivanka: Fine.

Donald: Are we clear?! 

Ivanka: Crystal.

Donald: Now back to that off-shoulder thing, I don’t like the way Pence looks at you in trampy clothes like that. I wanna punch his lights out!

Jared: Sir, Vice President Pence is married!

Donald: Have you seen his wife?

Ivanka: That is so wrong, um, Mr. President.

Donald: What’s that song by the Doobie people? “You Can’t Hide Your Lyin’ Eyes.”

Ivanka: Sir, that’s by the Eagles.

Donald: Whatever. Please change that thing, sweetheart.

Ivanka: Okay, but if I have to call you Mr. President, you have to stop calling me “honey” and “sweetheart.” It’s Ms. Trump, or Madam Adviser — deal? (Ivanka exits Oval Office.)

Donald: Jesus. More and more like her mother every day. Sad. Never mind. Okay, Jared, need your help. These Freedom Caucus people are a pain in my ass, we’ll never get crap done!

Jared: Tough group, sir.

Donald: Bunch of them in South Carolina. I want you to go down there, hold a town hall or a barbecue, something, anything, try to smooth things over, see what the hell they really want. 

Jared: Don, I mean sir, they want the campaign promises, simple as that!

Donald: Are they high? Do they know the difference between a campaign speech and getting anything done in this hellhole? You need to go down there and get ’em on board if they wanna keep their seats! Otherwise they can go back to their trailers, for all I care.

Jared: Mr. President, with all due respect, I’m a little uncomfortable going that far south. There’s a lot of anti-Semitic stuff going on in these redneck, I mean red state, areas.

Donald: Hey, you don’t even look Jewish! You look more like that Trudeau guy. Schumer looks Jewish. Bloomberg looks Jewish. 

Jared: Good point. But my name is Kushner, it’s a giveaway.

Donald: You think Woody Allen’s name is Woody Allen? You think Bob Dylan’s name is Bob Dylan? They changed their names, and they still looked Jewish!

Jared: Okay, okay, I’ll go. But let me take Toby Keith with me, they love him.

Donald: Done. (Ivanka re-enters Oval Office, pirouetting in a new outfit.)

Ivanka: Well, what do you think? 

Jared: That is hot, baby!

Donald: What the hell!? 

Ivanka: It’s my Sleeveless Floral Popover Dress. Also from the Ivanka Spring Collection!

Donald: Too much leg, too much shoulder, enough with the skin, it looks cheap!

Ivanka: Only $138 at Lord and Taylor! Of course, I didn’t pay that.

Donald: I hope not! Just please put on a suit. Maybe something like Hillary’s — no, I did not say that.

Ivanka: Look, Mr. President, I’m supposed to be advising you, not the other way around.

Donald: Fine. Advise me already.

Ivanka: Okay, your ties are too long. Ha Ha Ha!

Jared: (Bending over laughing): That’s awesome, baby. Pow! (Jared and Ivanka execute near-perfect exploding fist-bump.)

Donald: Disgusting. Both of you! You’re supposed to be advising the most powerful man on earth!

Ivanka: Dad, I mean sir, we’re not getting paid! Not even minimum wage!

Jared: (To Ivanka) We’re not?

Donald: You gotta prove yourselves first, that’s the way it works. 

Jared: Sir, I, um, gave up a multimillion-dollar job to come here!

Donald: Boo hoo. We’ll talk when you get back from the South. (To Ivanka): Honey, I wanna replace this terrible rug with marble, Carrara marble. Look into it.

Ivanka: Daddy, stop calling me Honey!

Donald: Fine! Just get out of that Popover thing and put some clothes on, Pence is on the way over here!

I was able to fall back asleep a little before 6 a.m. Maybe it’s true what they say about laughter.

LYLE GREENFIELD

Miscreants

Hampton Bays

April 17, 2017

To the Editor, 

Well, another date in the calendar. Another reason to protect President Trump, this time about his taxes. It’s unbelievable how much time people have to waste foolishly. I see them on their toys looking at pictures of their pets and grandchildren and talking out loud about their latest trip to the supermarket. I don’t own an iPhone, iPad, computer, cellphone, but I have a very interesting and rewarding life.

I have always felt that if these people who continuously bitch about issues, that in some instances they have minimal knowledge about, would direct their anger into good and be thankful for what God has given them.

In hindsight, I guess these brats and paid agitators and the intellectual elite are so bent, they just want it to be their way. It’s not going to happen, because there are more decent God-loving Americans who want a good and just America and these miscreants will continue to look mean, act mean, and wallow in their hate.

Thank God, President Trump has surrounded himself with very competent people. We now have an excellent secretary of state, Mr. Rex Tillerson, and Nikki Haley at the U.N. couldn’t be better.

Oh well, I guess that’s enough for now. I know the hatemongers’ blood pressure is seething. Good!

May God bless President Trump and his beautiful family.

JOHN PAGAC

Legitimate President

Montauk

April 22, 2017

To the Editor:

Many Americans awoke after the November 2016 elections in a state of shock. Could it be true that Donald Trump was democratically elected to the presidency of the United States of America? Was this not the candidate who promised to build a very big wall to keep out illegal immigrants, ban Muslim travel to the United States, abolish the Affordable Care Act on Day One, reform the tax code, establish tariffs to protect American industry, bring a renaissance to the American coal industry, rein in North Korean and Iranian nuclear aspirations, eliminate criminal Chinese currency manipulation, do away with NATO, and establish a beneficial working relationship with the authoritarian regime of Vladimir Putin in Russia? 

Well, he did win the election, even though he claimed it was rigged. Despite the clearly documented Russian efforts to influence the election result, Trump was not elected by the Russians. He was elected by Americans by gaining a majority of the Electoral College. Yes, he lost the popular vote by millions, but that does not count. The American people gave Trump the presidency. He is a legitimate president.

 And if we look closely at American and even European history, we should not be so surprised that Trump won the presidency. Throughout our history, we have experienced a nativist tradition that dates from the Know-Nothing Party of the 1850s, which opposed Irish immigration. The passage of the xenophobic Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882 was aimed at protecting American jobs and American cultural values. American antipathy for Mexicans continues a tradition from the 1840s. During World War II, the American government did not have a problem placing loyal Japanese-Americans in internment camps. 

When economically and culturally troubled, Americans have often sought redress by seeking to blame and punish those perceived as outsiders or “the other.” To be sure, millions of Americans also voted for Trump because they viewed him as a non-politician who deeply cared for those abandoned by Wall Street, Washington bureaucrats, and corporate plutocrats. Many Americans truly craved a draining of the “Washington Swamp.”

 After the first hundred days, Americans are now evaluating how successful President Trump has been in making America great again. Personally, I could forgive him for many things except his bad hair and pure incompetence.

BRIAN POPE