Will Jordin Sparks have a wardrobe malfunction while singing the national anthem? Will Tom Brady be able to play? Will his gazelle of a girlfriend, Gisele Bundchen, be an albatross as Jessica Simpson has been for Tony Romo? Will I have enough spicy chicken wings to last through the halftime show? Is my TV screen big enough? 

These are the burning questions gnawing away at me in anticipation of Super Bowl XLII.