East End Eats: Drab Night at the Grey Lady

Grey Lady East

440 West Lake Drive

Montauk

631-483-5803

Dinner nightly

First of all, I have to tell you I am not a food snob. I am not even a gourmet, more like a gourmand. I enjoy a chile con queso made with Velveeta “cheese” as much as fresh sea urchin gonads. Yes, uni are gonads, not roe. That being said, we approached Grey Lady East in Montauk with open minds and hearty appetites.

Grey Lady East has taken over Harbor’s space on West Lake Drive in Montauk. There are several other Grey Lady restaurants in Nantucket, Aspen, and New York City. We were looking forward to such classic New England fare as bluefish paté, lobster rolls, and chowdah.

The restaurant is small, with about 50 seats and more on the outdoor deck overlooking the marina. The floors have tiles that resemble weathered barn wood, the ceiling is pressed tin in parts, and the walls are white. Some plastic dune grass flora decorate a few pillars, and a few black and white surfy photos are on the walls in the bar area. Let’s call it “Pier One Imports Meets Michael Dweck Lite.” The banquettes around the perimeter are punishingly uncomfortable, with no seat cushions, although there are some thin padded cushions for the back.

Once we were seated we waited about 15 minutes for someone to notice us, the only guests in the restaurant. There was a pretty girl moving about the room, but she gave us nary a glance or acknowledgment. Eventually, she took our drink order. She was our waitress, after all!

We began our meal with grilled Spanish octopus, buffalo mozzarella with arugula, and beet with endive salad. 

The grilled Spanish octopus, priced at $18, had two tentacles in a bowl of stewed tomatoes, zucchini, a wee bit of corn, and a spicy jalapeno feta sauce. The octopus had good flavor and was very tender. The buffalo mozzarella was a ball of mozzarella served on wilted arugula with four blackberries, two shards of pickled onion, and three edible orchid petals. This dish reminded me of Coco Chanel’s mantra “take one thing off before you walk out the door.” In other words, get rid of that superfluous “enhancement.” The menu said there was also vincotto (an aged, thick, syrupy balsamic vinegar) on the salad, but there was nothing. The mozzarella and arugula had definitely seen better days, more specifically perhaps, the previous Wednesday.

When the beet and endive salad was handed to me (yes, handed to me, not placed on the table), I felt some crusty gradoo on the bottom of the plate. It looked like dried mashed potatoes, but Grey Lady doesn’t serve mashed potatoes, so uh-oh. I had already valiantly removed the hair from the lemon wedges that came with my drink, but this time I had to ask for a cleaner plate. The salad was a huge mound of frisee with a few endive leaves and some sliced beets on a pool of sour cream (“take one thing off before you . . .”). There was also a sprinkling of pistachio powder. The dressing was sweet.

For entrees we ordered the lobster roll (warm with butter), a burger, and cod. The lobster roll came with excellent hand-cut French fries. The lobster was dry and tough. My guest who ordered it, let’s call her Pollyanna, said, “The roll is toasted, that’s nice.” The burger was good, cooked to order, and served with more of the excellent fries. I’m glad it was good, because it is the same price as the Topping Rose House’s burger ($21) and $4 more than the stupendous burgers at Rowdy Hall in East Hampton. 

Fortunately, the third entree, cod in a corn and lemongrass “chowder,” was absolutely delicious. It is described on the menu as being cooked in parchment (which would have steamed it), but it was definitely pan-seared because it had a crunchy exterior. Although we could not detect even a whisper of lemongrass flavor in the creamy sauce, it did have bits of melted leeks and roasted fennel. These were wonderful, flavorful accompaniments to the perfectly cooked cod. But once again, there was an odd addition: some sliced strawberries (!) on top.

The Grey Lady’s website declares “full website coming soon.” But we’re already deep into August, folks. We inquired about the more Nantuckety-style offerings we had seen, such as the aforementioned bluefish paté, but our waitress said they change the menu “almost every day.” So it was orchid petals and strawberries where they don’t belong. There are also no side dishes, and only one dessert offered.

The service on the night of our visit was not very good, as you may have gathered. Our waitress was untrained and uninterested, therefore no names here. We were the only guests indoors, and there was one other group outside. Oh, and an old guy in a fedora with a young blonde, making our Montauk summer dining experience complete!

Prices are $12 to $30 for appetizers, $21 to $36 for entrees. There was one dessert for $10. The dessert on this evening was described as a chocolate and salted almond terrine. It was three little bites of candy bar-like squares with some strawberry slices that had escaped the cod dish, and some Hershey’s syrup situations on the plates. It was pretty good, although petite, a nice fudgy chocolate ganache on top of a slightly chewy, buttery almond bottom.

My guests on this evening are positive and kind and polite people, year-round residents of Montauk. I asked at the end of our meal, “Would you come back here and would you recommend this restaurant to other friends?” The answers were “no” and “no.”