Finding Meaning by Helping
In spite of her grief, an Amagansett mother who lost her son to a drug overdose is finding solace, even if fleeting, through helping others in her son’s name.
“I don’t want to feel paralyzed,” said Jacqui Sedlar Leader as she retold her son’s story. Pascal Leader, a good-looking, popular surfer and artist known as Sax, lost his life to a deadly cocktail of methadone and prescription drugs in his New York City apartment on Nov. 30, 2013. He was just 25.
The Sax Leader Foundation will be the beneficiary of an event dubbed Stir It Up at the Stephen Talkhouse in Amagansett on Tuesday. Money raised will pay for the treatment of a young member of the community who wants help battling addiction. Stir-fry will be served, and the Nancy Atlas Project will perform. The benefit, which will be held from 7 to 9:30 p.m., was inspired by Mr. Leader’s dream to open his own authentic stir-fry “shack,” his mother said.
After graduating from East Hampton High School, he took part in a National Outdoor Leadership School program in Baja, Mexico, where he learned to cook for himself and fellow campers. On a pan over a self-made fire, he found a new talent; making delicious stir-fry, his mother said.
“I wanted to do it because you feel so lost. Nothing really means a whole heck of a lot to me right now — my grandchildren do, Kira [her daughter], my husband,” Ms. Leader said. “When he died, a big fat chunk of me died. Especially with drug overdoses, you think, what more could I have done?”
Ms. Leader is channeling her energy into trying to find meaning in her son’s tragedy by helping others battling addiction. The foundation will pay for treatment for a person who is serious about getting help, she said. Rehabilitation facilities easily costs thousands of dollars. The first fund-raiser, held last summer, was enough to help one young woman addicted to heroin.
Ms. Leader has reached out to the local high schools to offer assistance, and works with those involved in other local organizations reaching young people struggling with dependencies and mental illness.