Point of View: Forget It
I’ve been accommodating myself to death for a while now, but today I was actually wishing for it when I read that they’re not only to play the U.S. Open at Shinnecock in 2018, but also in 2026.
“Surely, I’ll be dead by then,” I said as I reached for the calculator. “In 2026 I’ll be . . . 136! Dead for sure. Whew. No, no, wait . . . no, 1940 from 2026 is . . . ah, 86. Oh God. And of course I’ll still be working at The Star, and the U.S.G.A. probably still won’t let me inside the ropes. I’ll have to hobble along, peering over the legions with a periscope.”
My son-in-law wonders why we write about the Open anyway, given the fact that by the time we do it’s old news. Of course, that’s never stopped us — me, anyway — in the past.
Though this time, I told him, I’ll watch it on TV in the media tent. You get a much better view that way, though my hearing will probably be even worse by then, and the announcers are always whispering. Better yet, I’ll check in periodically with Mark Herrmann, Newsday’s golf writer, to find out what’s going on.
(I just Googled him to make sure I spelled his last name correctly and saw under Mark’s photo the following: “A former American college and professional football player who was a quarterback in the National Football League during the 1980s and 1990s. . . .” Look to it, Mark, look to it.)
Meanwhile, I am trying to acclimate myself by reading, at Orson Cummings’s suggestion, Harvey Penick’s “Little Red Book.” I told him I hated golf, but Orson — a very good tennis player — said I should read it anyway, and so I am. At one point, Harvey says, “The motion you make lopping off dandelions with your weed cutter is the perfect action of swinging a golf club through the hitting area.”
So, I may go out and buy one, thus satisfying my curiosity even as Mary marvels at how helpful I’ve become.
The fact is that, contrary to what I know is my natural bent toward excitability, I am intrigued by the calm, attentive approach the “Little Red Book” prescribes.
Take dead aim . . . always play within yourself . . . left foot-right elbow. . . . Okay, okay. So much to learn, so much to forget.