Point of View: Mind That Data

The attention of metadata miners in a bunker somewhere in the godless West was drawn to the following intriguing telephonic transcript (for which a court order had been obtained, of course).

    “Hi, Sarah, this rain has been of biblical proportions, hasn’t it? I’m treating myself to some apple pie a la mode.”

    “A la . . . [crackling sound]? Ruth, I can’t hear you. You’re breaking up.”

    “A la mode, I said.”

    “Oh, a la [more crackling] is great!”

    “Reading any interesting books these days?”

    “Actually, yes, I’ve started ‘The Divine Comedy,’ the Clive James translation. There must be 72 versions by now!”

    “. . . Seventy-two virgins. . . ?”

    “Versions, Ruth, versions. . . . Guess what?”

    “What?”

    “Hod took me out last night, after he came back from work.”

    “Gee, Hod took you out? That must have hit you like a bombshell. He’s not exactly a fanatic for going out.”

    “We went to the Paradise.”

    “The Mecca of restaurants.”

    “Though I had a violent reaction to something I ate. There was a gastrointestinal explosion! I’ll spare you the details. I had to phone Dr. Reese.”

    “Who. . . ? Reese. . .?”

    “Yes, but he was in Phi [more crackling] del . . . for the weekend.”

    “Infidel. . . ?”

    “In Philadelphia.”

    “Oh. . . . I’m praying for you, Sarah. And, by the way, I think you’re a real martyr for putting up with that sod Hod. . . . That reminds me I need to order some fertilizer from Agway. . . . I barely have time to think nowadays with all this bombarding we get from the media. Isn’t it the same with you? We’ve got to simplify, don’t you think? Living well is. . . .”

    “. . . The best revenge! I think I’ve read that book. We’ll take up arms to put our feet up.”

    “We’re on a mission — a crusade you might say! You know, Sarah, it’s been so long since we’ve seen each other. How about we get together Saturday.”

    “That would be nice, Ruth.”

    “Great, say 10?”