Relay: Being A Cheesemonger

One of the first questions I’m always asked is, “How can you stand the smell?” I invariably answer, “What smell?”

I’m speaking, you see, of being a cheesemonger. That so-called smell just hovers in the background — a pleasant, comforting environment.

Of course there are those who object, almost all of them under the age of 12. I saw one little girl of about 8 who held her nose for at least a half-hour while her mother shopped.

Then there are those who do not object. They are the stinky-cheese crowd. When the stinky cheeses are brought out, they instinctively lean over the counter, their noses leading the way.

One of the interesting things about being a cheesemonger is the tools that are used.

Take for instance this double-handed rocker knife. This is an impressive piece of equipment. Twenty-four inches long, razor-sharp, with a solid handle on each end, it gives you the ability to take command of any hard-cheese situation.

Let’s start by placing the block of cheese in front of you, with the knife held across your body. Always work on a firm surface. A solid marble counter is the best. Never cut with the blade perpendicular to the axis of your body — if the knife should slip or break on the counter’s edge, you could find yourself in some serious medical trouble.

Hold the knife at both ends and raise up one end about a foot. With the other end, start your cheese cut with a quick, almost vertical, sliding motion. This will give you a purchase point to begin the rocking motion of the cut.

Now work the knife through the cheese, rocking the curved blade up and down. Keep the pressure continuous. If you hesitate, the cheese could break, a very humiliating thing for a cheesemonger.

The rocker knife has a T-handle on one end. Use this handle to control the path of the cut. You need to keep the path as straight as possible to present a beautiful slice of cheese.

Some people try to cut with a small, single-handled knife, a knife intended, for instance, for cutting a soft brie. After five minutes of frantic sawing, the path of the cut deteriorates into an awkward curve. How pathetic!

There, done. Your first slice of cheese professionally cut! Hopefully, you’ve estimated the target weight accurately. Weigh it, wrap it, and hand it to the customer with a smile.

Life is good, so take a deep, deep breath of the pungent, cheesy air.

When not working as a cheesemonger Greg Bullock works in the production department at The East Hampton Star.