Seasons by the Sea: A Seafood Bonanza

Sunday was a perfect Long Island day. For me it began at the Montauk Seafood Festival and ended on the North Fork, visiting Lenz Winery and the North Fork Table and Inn. It was sunny, but a tidbit chilly, with no wind, no traffic.

This year brought the second annual Montauk Seafood Festival, very smartly held in two locations, the Montauk Marine Basin and Uihlein’s Marina. You could walk from one tent to the other or take a quick water taxi between them. Sponsored by the East Hampton Kiwanis and Montauk Friends of Erin, the two-day event had some of the best Montauk restaurants participating. In addition there were beers from Montauk Brewing Company, wines from Pindar and Duckwalk, and four bands playing throughout the afternoon. There were raw bars and shucking contests, crab races and beanbag toss for the kids, cotton candy for all.

Unfortunately, I suffered a major embarrassment immediately upon arrival. I sat on a sopping wet seat on the water taxi and spent the rest of the afternoon walking around with a hugely visible, extremely soggy behind. So if any of you saw someone walking around looking like that, it was not some old biddy who forgot her Depends and imbibed too much Driftwood Ale, it was just me, trying to do my job, nonchalantly, discreetly, with a big, wet heinie.

Admission was free. You trade in your real money for funny money, and that’s what you could use to purchase beverages and food. The array of fish was staggering, lobster rolls and crab sliders, Jonah crab claws, swordfish kebobs, fluke tacos, sushi, clam chowder, and Montauk Pearl oysters. Oh, and hamburgers, hot dogs, and corn for the kiddies who don’t go for seafood.

First I sampled the swordfish kebobs from Gosman’s. The delicious little cubes were dressed in a basil vinaigrette and sat on slices of tomato and watermelon. This was a good beginning paired with Montauk Brewing Co.’s Offland I.P.A. Near one tent, a band was playing way too many Jimmy Buffett songs, so I waddled over to the other side where Liquid Phase was rocking out a little harder. Next up was the Szechuan tuna from Hambonetyme Catering. This was excellent, although as far from Szechuan as Montauk is. The slices of lightly seared tuna had a tangy sauce on them and sat on a cucumber wasabi salad. Hmmm, this calls for a Driftwood Ale. At this point I noticed how exceptionally attractive the young men dispensing beer were. All of them. At both tents. Staggeringly handsome. Time for another beer.

Trying to decide what to eat with the last of my funny money was hard. The sushi from Zakura was beautiful, pristine slices of tuna, shiny little sweet shrimp on sushi rice, and more. The chowder from Gurney’s was going fast, and people were full of compliments about it. There did seem to be a good number of vendors offering blackened fish, a trend I thought had died 20 years ago, but is still delicious when done properly.

I opted for the fluke tacos from Gringo’s. As I watched the paper-thin fluke fillets being sauteed on a griddle, the nice lady assured me they would be ready in about five minutes. “No!” I wanted to cry, “they were done five minutes ago!” Flip, flip, flip, then chop, chop. Oh, no, I thought, that fluke has been murdered. Turns out, once you fry, fry, fry, and chop, chop fluke with the right seasonings and top it with some seriously good salsa, it’s damn good. Although, God forgive me, I allowed them to squirt some sour cream on it and it was even better.

 At this point, I had to stop eating, keeping in mind that a grand feast awaited us at the North Fork Table that evening. So I spent the next hour watching families with babies and dogs, motorcyclists and musicians, relaxing on the sand at Lynn’s Hula Hut. Yes, Sunday was a perfect Long Island day, wet bottom and all.