Turkey Trotting

One of our number thought it was a hoax when she read in a recent copy of The Litchfield County Times that animal rights activists had busted up a hostelry's annual Turkey Olympics, a perhaps bumptious but otherwise non-Mephistophelian event, and that some of the visionaries had got themselves arrested in the process, gone on a 24-hour "hunger strike," and said they looked forward with relish to a jury trial.

But it was not a hoax. The event, apparently put on by the Inn on Lake Waramaug for the past 18 years, attracts pet turkeys who high-jump two inches, sprint 50 yards, and participate in an act of conspicuous consumption, while wearing costumes. Prizes are awarded for the fastest eater, the most uncooperative, and the best-dressed contestant, and the entries this year included Greta Gobble, and Madonna and Arnold Schwarzeneger look-alikes.

The chagrined inn manager said the birds were pets and were not destined for the chopping block. Commenting that no animal abuse was involved, she said, "If they stop this, next will be Thanksgiving." Besides, a woman who brought her Tom told the manager, she said, that "he hadn't had so much fun in years with all of those female turkeys around."

The activists said that the arrestees were walking in the footsteps of Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King. Our view is that Gandhi and King had bigger fish to fry.