Whoa, FedEx Box Vanishes

   Like the Pony Express with a pony gone lame, FedEx has removed Montauk’s one-and-only drop box, leaving residents with a 12-mile ride to the closest box in Amagansett. Poof, the trusty drop box pony that waited to be loaded up with important missives through all kinds of weather has vanished.

    It’s sad to see people wandering aimlessly, and with increasing desperation, in search of a FedEx box in which to slip an overdue payment, a contract, or, at Christmastime, a gift. But such has been the case for the past few weeks as express mailers found the drop box missing from its most recent location in front of the post office.

    Neither FedEx nor the U.S. Postal Service would talk about it, but their representatives indicated that something had gone wrong nationwide with a contract that allowed FedEx drop boxes to be stabled on government property.

    “I can’t get into that with you,” said the FedEx agent with a pleasant Southern accent.

    “I can’t talk about that,” said Montauk Postmaster Brian Sanders.

    On Dec. 5, the FedEx company sent out an e-mail to Montauk individuals and businesses informing them that “your drop box at 73 Euclid Avenue will be moving by Nov. 30, 2012.”

    This was not news for regular FedEx users. The box had already gone missing. The e-mail informed the boxless that their portal to everywhere U.S.A. and beyond had moved to 136 Main Street, across the Napeague stretch, in Amagansett. “Convenience is still around the corner,” the e-mail said, defining the “around the corner” distance as 12 miles in this case.

    Andre Stevenson, a senior retail analyst with FedEx, said his office had been trying to “get coverage back” to Montauk. “We have to have permission from a landowner,” he said. “Anyone can call me at 901-434-2130. I will give them the information and send them an e-mail that has the instructions to go online to complete the agreement.”

    He sounded like he was champing at the bit.