In so many ways, life has been put on hold as a result of the Covid-19 outbreak. Nuptials are no different and couples all over have been left scrambling, deciding either to call off or reschedule their weddings. It was not just the receptions that couldn’t go on, but unless couples had already received a marriage license, they could not legally wed — not even in the smallest of settings — in the State of New York.
“We can’t say ‘I Do’ six feet apart!” is how an announcement about the change of date for the wedding of Ashley Oliver and Tommy Rewinski reads. A stack of new save-the-date cards was ready to be mailed last week when the North Sea couple talked to The Star. They tried to make light of the fact that they are postponing their June 20 reception by a full year. Ms. Oliver, who works for the East Hampton Town Shellfish Hatchery, said the disappointment comes in waves, though they still hope they can tie the knot on June 20 this year.
Like many couples, they had not gotten their marriage license yet. Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo announced over the weekend that New Yorkers can now get marriage licenses remotely, since government offices remain closed. In an executive order, the governor is allowing clerks to perform ceremonies via video conference, such as Zoom. The order suspends a provision of law, until May 18, that requires in-person visits.
Carole Brennan, the East Hampton Town Clerk, said clerks are still working out the details. “It’s not as easy as Zoom,” she said. “You need to see original documents and seal the license.” She does not perform weddings.
For Ms. Oliver and Mr. Rewinski, it’s not a question of when the government reopens, but when the Catholic Church does. She and her fiance want to get married at the Basilica Parish of the Sacred Hearts of Jesus and Mary in Southampton. Ms. Oliver said she has always dreamed about getting married in the church. In fact, they just finished a pre-cana, a marriage preparation course, at the church the week before everything was shut down.
“As long as the church is okay with it, we’re still getting married on June 20. If everything is still shut down, we’ll wait,” she said. “No matter what happens in our lives we have each other, it’s more important than a piece of paper.”
Their marriage might happen; the party can wait. Three weeks after social distancing began, the couple realized that they ought to postpone their reception, even though their wedding was still a few months off. “We thought to ourselves, are we really going to want to get close to 200 people together right after everyone is isolated and social distancing?” Mr. Rewinski said. Their new plan: to try to get married with just their parents in attendance and then have the celebration in a year.
The date was carefully selected — it’s the full moon, summer solstice, and her father’s 50th birthday, so they had planned to celebrate his birthday during the reception too. The reception was to include food trucks at the fair grounds across from the North Sea Fire Department.
Postponing the vendors was simple, they said. One of the food truck owners emailed her and said, “Ashley, I’m just grateful that you didn’t ask for the money back.”
“Everybody is hurting. This is devastating the world. For our wedding to be moved, it seems like a very small thing,” Mr. Rewinski said.
They were worried too that family or friends who live elsewhere would not to be able to travel, or even afford to do so after so many were laid off because of Covid-19.
Samantha Dombkowski, an East Hampton High School graduate who grew up in Sagaponack, said she finally accepted that her April 24 wedding to Cheyne Finocchiaro was not going to happen in the middle of March, when the governor put restrictions on gatherings. Her fiance had seen the writing on the wall before she did, and stepped in and handled most of the rescheduling.
The couple, who live in Southampton, took the date change in stride. “It’s just a day. That’s what we keep saying. All that matters is that everyone we love, so far, is safe and healthy,” said Ms. Dombkowski, who is an ultrasound technologist at Stony Brook Southampton Hospital.
Her fiance contacted their wedding location, the Estate at East Wind in Wading River, which they booked over a year ago for 300 guests, to discuss the next steps. He was a day ahead of the wedding venue staff, who were still figuring out what to do themselves. The couple was given four alternate dates to choose from and picked a new date of July 31 pretty quickly.
“It was either the summer or early fall,” he said. An assistant chief and emergency medical technician with the Southampton Village Volunteer Ambulance, Mr. Finocchiaro said there is concern that Covid-19 may get worse again in the fall.
“I had like 10 minutes to accept,” Mr. Finocchiaro said. Eight other couples were given the same options and whoever responded first got those dates, he said.
“We didn’t want a summer wedding because we didn’t want to sweat and now we are having a peak summer wedding,” Ms. Dombkowski said with a laugh. At first she thought she had the April 24 date printed on the welcome sign and she thought about making a joke of it and putting an X through it when her actual wedding day arrives, but it turned out the date had not been printed on the sign after all.
“Hopefully we won’t have to reschedule it for a second time,” she said. Their wedding may be “the first big party that everyone can go to” this summer. “Everyone is already like, ‘I’m so excited.’ “