With the sudden onset of Covid-19 we’ve been thrust into a surreal crisis filled with uncertainty and fear that is traumatic, disorienting, and debilitating. That which we have taken for granted no longer seems to hold true. We are facing a series of eye-opening and life-changing events stemming from a confounding, invisible, and deadly virus with no immediate treatment. All around us there is a staggering loss of life and heartfelt tragedy. The pandemic has brought into our world a period of grieving, loss, frustration, and trial. Without effective coping strategies that enable us to adapt, it is easy to feel overwhelmed.
Attitude
The psychiatrist Viktor Frankl said, “When we are no longer able to change a situation we are challenged to change ourselves.” He believed we have the freedom to transcend suffering and find meaning regardless of circumstances. Covid-19 forces us to discover more of who we are. We learn more from periods of pain and confusion than in times of comfort. Listen to whatever signals of wisdom may come along, such as realizing how interdependent we all are, which one hopes can result in our being more fully engaged with the people and life around us.
Acceptance
Stop fighting what is and accept. The reality is that we are facing a once-in-100-year pandemic for which we and our government were not adequately prepared. Allow yourself to feel scared and vulnerable, but don’t wallow in wishful thinking or self-pity. Now is the time to ground ourselves as much as we can in the moment and to face our daily challenges head-on.
Self-Care
Covid-19 taxes our inner resources, and we must watch how depleted we may become. It is important to replenish ourselves by taking care of our basic health and well-being. Be fastidious about personal hygiene and dress. Restore your equilibrium, control anxiety, and promote restful sleep by engaging in regular exercise. Walk, run, bike, row, stretch. Be consistent. Other practices like mindfulness meditation, yoga, reading, listening to music, even cooking and cleaning help calm our minds in times of stress.
Structure Your Day
Have a regular bedtime and time to wake up. Schedule specific times for projects, work, exercise, and self-care. Our lives are literally on pause. How can you use your time most productively? Commit to finishing a project that has been on hold. Doing so will give you a sense of mastery. Use the distraction of projects and chores to infuse some sense of normalcy into your life and give your mind rest.
Program Pleasurable Activities
With self-quarantine and social distancing we are coping with a rather lean reinforcement schedule. Reflect on activities that either turn you on now or have turned you on in the past, as well as activities that you have thought of doing before. Seek those in which you have a genuine interest, are active and challenging, develop a skill, and provide some sense of accomplishment. Inject pleasure into your life by disciplining yourself to engage in them systematically. Avoid binge-watching TV and excessive napping.
Spend Time in Nature
Go outside daily and breathe in the fresh air. Enjoy the sunshine and sights and sounds of nature. Cabin fever is real. Hike, sit in the sun, take a walk on the beach, observe the stars and planets in a dark sky, relish your garden, listen to the birds. Nature is a very powerful healer in times of stress, and we are extremely fortunate to live in a community that is surrounded by such rich natural beauty.
Limit Media
Balance the need to be informed versus overexposure. Misinformation is rife, be it from 24/7 cable news or social media. Tragic stories of illness and death set off our alarm bells. So much of the “news” is repetitive, and we can handle only so much tragedy. Research has shown that people can develop a well-informed sense of risk-perception if they get their news from trusted sources. We need our officials to provide us with honest, accurate information, even if it is worrisome.
Keep Your Focus
Covid-19 is a formidable foe with an uncanny and terrifying ability to spread exponentially and target the most vulnerable. Be well informed about the risks of transmission and alter your behavior accordingly. Given uncertainty, control what you can. Do not take unnecessary risks, maintain social distancing, wear a mask, use gloves, make use of home delivery options, use curbside pickup, avoid nonessential travel, wash hands frequently, avoid touching your face, and disinfect surfaces often. We are all at risk until the virus is fully suppressed, which means the coronavirus may be with us for a rather long time. Manage your expectations and don’t let your guard down.
Connections
“Social distancing” is the cruelest oxymoron. Others have labeled it “chemo for the soul.” Vow to stay connected as best you can, either by email, phone, or video conferencing. They are a vital substitute. We are social animals. Find innovative ways to connect.
New York Tough
Governor Cuomo has it right. We all have reservoirs of strength upon which we can draw in times of hardship. We New Yorkers are a tough and resilient bunch. Toughness, grit, resilience, we all have it to a greater degree than we acknowledge, especially in times of hardship.
Compassion
Suffering opens avenues of decency and compassion. During this crisis we have witnessed incredible acts of generosity and courage. Give back to your community in any way you can.Take care of those in need, especially the elderly, who may be significantly isolated and alone. Small acts of kindness really matter now. It is time to pay it forward. Support your local food pantries, community service organizations, newspapers, art and cultural organizations, farmers, restaurants, and other businesses.
Gratitude
At day’s end make a list of all your blessings and meditate on them. Savor your moments of joy. Build on that list daily and review. We’ve been blessed to live in a wonderfully supportive community with an exquisite natural environment and superabundant cultural and intellectual resources.
Hope
There is always reason to hope. The law of impermanence says nothing lasts forever. There is tremendous potential for breakthroughs in rapid home antigen testing, effective treatment, and an early vaccine. Never before has the world’s scientific community and big tech been so focused as in addressing this pandemic. The basics are clear: test, contact trace, isolate, follow a scientifically data-driven plan. In time, the virus will be controlled.
Covid-19 is an extraordinary global health crisis that is unpredictable, relentless, and cruel. It’s normal to feel sad and worried. Although these are hard times, don’t allow yourself to feel powerless. Keep your head in the game, nurture your resilience, take one day at a time, and remain vigilant. As is often said, we are in this together, stay strong and be safe. We will get through this.
Joseph Czekala, Ph.D., is a retired clinical psychologist and former president of the Suffolk County Psychological Association. He has lived in Springs for the past 25 years with his wife, Barbara, and son, Ian.