One of the clichés about the South Fork is that there are no places anymore that sell socks. That is kind of the case, now that our Main Streets have been all but taken over by Prada, Chanel, and the like, but there are plenty of shops, such as Gubbins and the Sag Harbor Five and Ten, that do. At the other end of the retail rainbow, there are $22 dress socks at Polo. Even so, for a non-shopper like your faithful correspondent, socks are always a problem.
Well, make that past tense. Socks were a problem — until I noticed a bin in the menswear section at the Ladies Village Improvement Society Bargain Box. At the risk of blowing the lid on my secret, L.V.I.S. socks are the best deal in town.
Some readers might get the shakes at the idea of walking in someone else’s socks. All the more for me, I believe, after a good washing just in case. On a recent visit, I came away with four pairs, including a $3 set from Smartwool that otherwise would have gone for $20 or more.
Getting to the socks has had its challenges. The four-pair day, two very tall, very loud and amusing men who had made a trip from the Bronx directly to the L.V.I.S. had taken over the bin’s corner. After trying several times to slip in behind the bigger of the two, I gave up and headed over to White’s to check on a prescription.
Nearly a half-hour later, they were still there, discussing whether the sleeves on a gray suit could be let down an inch or two. One of them found something by Perry Ellis; “This would look great going to the mall,” he said, looking for a laugh, which he got from the handful of us in earshot. But by then they had moved on to the sweaters, and I could sift through the bin without fear of being trampled.
Two things about my searches are that I do not bother with the white cotton sports socks and that I leave the bin better organized than how I found it. I don’t, under any circumstances, browse the underwear shelf. T’was a brave man who ever wore a pair of L.V.I.S. boxers — I am not him.