“One of a soldier’s greatest fears is to be forgotten,” said Bill Stafford, the commander of Sag Harbor’s American Legion Post, speaking at Marine Park for the Sag Harbor Memorial Day parade. The wind was strong from the north. The sound of halyard lines clanging against sailboat masts and the nasal call of fish crows flying overhead filled the silences between his words.
On Monday morning, at least, the soldiers were not forgotten. The parade had begun at the World War I monument at Otter Pond with stops at the village’s other war monuments and in front of the firehouse before concluding in front of the Vietnam, Korean, and World War II monuments at Marine Park. At each stop, a small speech remembering the fallen veterans, a gun salute, and taps.
Many hundred attended. “This has to be the biggest crowd ever, by double,” said Mayor James Larocca, himself a veteran of the Vietnam War, during which he served two combat tours.
The crowds lined either side of Main Street. In one stroller, a toddler held a tiny American flag. A man walked a dog with an American flag bandanna. Others parked and stayed put, watching the parade from lawn chairs pulled from car trunks, while many more stood along the road and sidewalk. Across from the Sag Harbor Cinema, the Sag Harbor Community Band played in their red pants and white shirts, the sun flashing off their brass instruments.
Americans are good at celebrating holidays. Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Year’s Eve — ask any child, they know what to do. But Harry (Hap) Wils, who described himself as “a Cold War-era veteran,” said there was confusion about Memorial Day.
“I’ve had the privilege of representing the Sag Harbor V.F.W. on Memorial Day for many years,” he said at Marine Park. “The one thing I’ve learned, this is like preaching to the choir. I see the same faces in the same places every year. Memorial Day is in honor of all those who’ve made the ultimate sacrifice to the country. It is not the unofficial start to summer. This is a day to remember those who have died so we can enjoy the freedoms that we cherish.”
Jimbo Theinert, the guest speaker for the day, and brother of First Lt. Joseph J. Theinert of Shelter Island, who was killed by an improvised explosive device in Afghanistan on June 4, 2010, agreed. “This is not an easy holiday. It’s not an easy thing to lose someone in service for our country.”
Mr. Theinert is president of the Strongpoint Theinert Ranch, which offers therapeutic retreats to current and veteran military service members. He offered suggestions on the best way to honor fallen servicemen and women and to connect with current ones.
“All of you who took time out of this beautiful, glorious weekend to be here and watch all of our uniformed people march, pay respect at all the monuments, and listen to our words, you’re doing everything that Memorial Day is supposed to be,” he said.
“A burden shared is a burden halved. By all of you coming out today, you’re helping to take away the pain that exists in my heart and in the hearts of all Gold Star families,” he said. “I miss my brother tremendously, and I cried yesterday when my children put flags on his grave, knowing that they’ll never get to meet their uncle in person,” he said, having to pause for emotion.
As he did, a nearby veteran nodded in understanding. Others wiped tears from their eyes.
He suggested another way to remember. On Memorial Day, he said, find a grave belonging to a veteran, read their name, and take five minutes to research their life, so they are not forgotten.
Robert Stewart, an Eagle Scout who attends Pierson High School, recited the Gettysburg Address. Wreaths were placed in the harbor and saluted to honor veterans whose lives were lost at sea. Once again, the guns went off, and taps played. The Sag Harbor Middle School chorus sang “God Bless America,” and then the crowd dispersed.
Some headed to the American Legion for refreshments, others, perhaps, to search for a grave to research.
