The Mast-Head: Leo Goes to School
Yes, to school. Our son, Ellis, and his prekindergarten classmates have been studying animals, with the usual parade of bunnies, a service dog, a lizard, and a small fuzzy creature of a sort Ellis could not quite identify. Leo would fit right in, his teachers said, and I could not refuse.
Getting Leo ready for his big outing was no small task. First there was the matter of finding a harness that would fit his un-canine-like proportions. Then there was the issue of making him presentable.
As I found out, regular dog harnesses don’t really work for pigs. Though only about 75 pounds — small as far as adult porkers go — Leo’s neck measured in at 31 inches around, and his girth at 33. The three pet shops I managed to drive to did not have anything that large, so, regrettably for local commerce perhaps, I turned to the Internet. Amazon had something that looked right and for a fee would have it to me the following afternoon.
Once the harness was in hand, I modified it by cutting out a strap that hung between Leo’s front legs, tripping him up, and tried to get him used to the feeling of being constrained. My initial attempts took place while he was eating, and they went more or less without incident.
Washing his face proved another thing altogether. A warm towel sent him into a howling fit, as he backed away on his pointy trotters. If you thought that pigs only oink, let me tell you, when they are vexed, they let off a whole symphony of imprecations. Eventually, he and I settled on a hand-wash of sorts, in which I could rub his dusty, crusty nose with my damp fingers, then wipe them on a towel and continue.
When Leo was a piglet, his feet barely touched the ground. My wife, Lisa, and eldest daughter, Adelia, would carry him around as if he were a tiny, bizarre-looking human baby. Not anymore. Bundling him into the minivan was a feat. Then once he was inside, he hid between the seats and was almost impossible to get out.
By comparison, his classroom visit was uneventful. Leo wandered around munching contentedly on offered carrots. The children asked lots of good questions, then they spontaneously began making crayon portraits of him, and gave them to me to take home.
Leo was happy enough to be done with all the attention, however, and interested more, it seemed, in grazing on the school lawn. I managed to get him back into the car without trouble, although I somehow pulled a muscle in my right arm. Once back home, Leo slept the rest of the day.