Farm-to-Table Series

Amber Waves Farm in Amagansett will kick off a series of brunches and dinners with an Argentine-inspired asado barbecue meal in the field on Saturday. It will be cooked by Paula Segura Mallmann, whose uncle, Francis Mallmann, is an Argentine chef, along with her partner, Emiliano Cordeiro. 

Guests will have an opportunity to walk the fields with one of the farmers to discuss sustainable farming practices. The meals are served family-style, outdoors, on rustic handmade tables, and feature produce from the farm along with other seasonal East End ingredients. 

Proceeds from the series support the farm’s educational programming. Tickets are $200 and include unlimited wine and beer from Channing Daughters Winery and the Montauk Brewing Company. Reservations are required.

Other chefs who will be cooking at the farm’s so-called Copper Oven Farm-to-Table series this season include Christopher Miller, Hillary Sterling, and the caterers from Hamptons Aristocrat.

Coming Soon

The folks at Almond — Eric Lemonides, Jason Weiner, the chef, and his wife, Almond Zigmund — are reportedly planning to add open another eatery in Bridgehampton, in the space on the Bridgehampton Turnpike recently vacated by Fresh. Word has it that it will be named Zigmund’s. The restaurateurs also have three Manhattan spots, Almond Tribeca, Almond Flatiron, and the L&W Oyster Co. 

Another Wolffer Rosé

July 1 will bring the release of the new Finca Wolffer Rosé, the second vintage of a rosé made with grapes grown in Mendoza, Argentina, by the Wolffer Estate winery in Sagaponack. Roman Roth, the Wolffer winemaker, worked with Susana Balbo, a renowned Argentine winemaker, to create the rosé. 

At Babette’s

Babette’s restaurant on Newtown Lane in East Hampton is now open daily for breakfast and lunch, and serves dinner on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Nightly dinner service will begin in July. New items on the menu at the restaurant, which serves organic, healthy fare, include, as dinner entrees, vegetable pad thai, local vegetable tagine, and wild truffled mousse. At breakfast and lunchtime, new additions are a Tuscan quinoa bowl, with kale, vegetables, roasted tomato, and two sunny-side up eggs, and a farmhouse breakfast sandwich featuring an egg, broccoli rabe, smoked mozzarella, tomato, greens, and sun-dried tomato aioli on eight-grain bread. 

Stonecrop Wine Tasting

Andy Harris and Sally Richardson of Montauk, the owners of Stonecrop vineyard in Martinborough, New Zealand, will be pouring the three wines from their vineyard at a tasting from 4 to 7 p.m. on Saturday at the Domaine Franey wine shop in East Hampton. Visitors will have an opportunity to savor sauvignon blanc, rosé, and pinot noir.

Some call it preppy food. I call it WASP soul food. For those not familiar with this acronym, it stands for white Anglo-Saxon Protestant. As an Irish Catholic with a good dose of Norwegian from my grandmother’s side, I am clearly not a member of this tribe. But many of my schoolmates and lifelong friends certainly are. As a result of this, I have become extremely familiar with WASP “cuisine.”

How can you identify this WASP soul food? It tends to be white. We’re talking white bread, probably Arnold or Pepperidge Farm, certainly not a fresh French baguette! Mayonnaise plays a huge role in WASP “cooking,” or more accurately, the preparing or assembling of meals. 

This must be clarified, as there are a lot of canned, frozen, bottled, and boxed foods that go into these meals. Crabmeat, shrimp, lobster, and any mild white fish such as sole or flounder are preferred over the more exotic, like skate or scungilli. The lettuce is iceberg, potatoes are a vegetable, and chicken in a cream sauce is a go-to dish for more formal occasions. Onions and garlic are only acceptable in powdered form, if at all. Sorbets are still sherbet, dressings are bottled, and pasta is noodles. Campbell’s cream-of-anything soup is considered a mother sauce. A proper WASP hostess will never be caught without Triscuits, Wheat Thins, or Milano cookies in her pantry.

At cocktail parties you will find a whole wheel of unripe Brie with Carr’s Table Water Crackers, pigs in blankets, and so-and-so’s famous dip, inevitably laden with cream cheese, sour cream, aaaand mayo. The bar will be fully stocked with hard liquor and mediocre wine, for while WASPs do like to drink, they are frugal. A sugary pink punch may also make an appearance.

This tribe does not care for exotic, spicy, or foreign food. In my research I have come to the conclusion that this food is the kind that a toddler would approve of: soft and pale with no color or crunch. Kale is a four letter word.

When my mother and father were on the back nine of life, they spent their winters near Palm Beach, WASP central! They had a friend named Hutch who wore pink and pinky rings and loved show tunes. His wife didn’t seem to mind; she doted on her corgis and her rose garden. When I went to visit, Hutch treated us to dinner at a country club that was having a New Orleans theme night. Visions of Cajun and Creole specialties like barbecued shrimp dripping with buttery Worcestershire sauce and Tabasco, sherry-loaded she-crab soup, and sucking the heads off of boiled crawfish danced through my head. Do I even have to tell you it was a bland affair, more suited to a rest home, with creamed and canned shrimp, nary a roux with the Holy Trinity of peppers, onions, and celery in sight. They probably had beignets though, because that is a nice, soft, white fried dough blob. I was crestfallen.

There are, however, many delicious WASP-y foods that I love. As a matter of fact, if I may brag, I believe I have mastered the tea sandwich. And there is always a somewhat large jar of Hellman’s mayo in my fridge. Cake mixes have their rightful place, especially when dolled up with lemon Jello and apricot nectar for the yellow cake, chocolate chips and sour cream for the devil’s food cake mix. I have also adopted the safe and delicious cheat dessert (from the excellent food writer Julia Reed) of lemon sorbet and Bordeaux cookies.

Do you have friends who you suspect are WASPs or wannabes? Here are some helpful hints to identify them. The gents have nicknames from prep school or go by a shortened version of their last name, which will inevitably have a Roman numeral II or III after it. (See the aforementioned Hutch.) The wives have pretty names like Clarissa, Georgina, and Miranda, but these are shortened to Bitsy or Bunny. Their children and dogs (purebred Labradors and retrievers only, please!) are named after presidents, activities, and herbs, like Jefferson, Tyler, Quincy, Hunter, and Basil.

Through my entire four years of college I had a preppy boyfriend; he looked like Troy Donahue, I kid you not. On our first visit to meet his family at their farm outside Princeton, N.J., he kept telling me what a wonderful cook his mother was. She “made” lamb chops, baked potatoes, and frozen spinach mixed with Philadelphia cream cheese with chives. To my mind this wasn’t so much cooking as it was spending money on expensive meat and putting salt and pepper on it. The creamed spinach, however, was a splendid shortcut that I have been using ever since.

I came from a home where my mother cooked inexpensive but absolutely wonderful stews and casseroles, and she always made her own vinaigrette. Meals were revered in our household, and while we did eat the occasional fish stick or cheap cut of eye round, there were plenty of fresh vegetables, real orange juice at breakfast, and no junk food whatsoever. Thank you, Mother!

If you are yearning to make something along the lines of typical WASP food (which I wouldn’t recommend as part of a balanced diet), look no further than your nearest Junior League cookbook. These are filled with cream of mushroom soup casseroles, noodles with more creamy stuff, and more crab and artichoke dips than you will ever need. There will be no exotica like a Thai green papaya salad (horrors!) or a spicy curry from Myanmar. Shortcuts, canned goods, and powders rule, fish sauce and kimchi are anathema.

Now put on your Jack Rogers sandals and sensibly modest Indian-cotton caftan, and let’s get cooking, er, I mean, assembling.

Click for recipes

When reviewing restaurants, I almost always sample their fried calamari offerings. Just about every restaurant out here has it on the menu. It’s a good test of the chef’s abilities. Is it lightly crisped and tender? Are the tentacles included? Is it served with an imaginative sauce or just a tepid marinara? 

Overcooked calamari (squid) is a distressing thing to behold. Long after the crispy coating has traveled down your gullet, you are chewing, chewing, chewing the remaining rings. Visions of lobster claw rubber bands dance in your head. If there are no tentacles, I feel gypped. And while marinara is a perfectly fine accompaniment, it’s nice to find the occasional aioli, brightened with lemon or lime juice, heightened with garlic, or spiced with a judicious squirt of sriracha.

Cittanuova in East Hampton has an excellent version, served with fried zucchini strips and a tomato basil aioli. It is pale, crisp, and tender. If you fry squid more than two minutes, you will end up with the aforementioned rubbery effect. While you can do just about anything with squid — fry, saute, boil, grill, pickle, stew, smoke — it must be either cooked very quickly or low and slow for half an hour or more.

I have to admit I have never prepared squid at home. I have no problem plucking birds, butchering meat, cleaning and scaling fish, or even snipping the face off a soft shelled crab before removing its other kee-kee innards before cooking. But there’s something about the slippery, sci-fi aspects of squid that keeps me from doing the work myself.

Squid are cephalopods, along with octopus and cuttlefish. They have been a prized food in Japan and Italy and Portugal for centuries but were only considered bycatch and bait in America until about 40 years ago. When trawlers from Japan started showing up along the Atlantic Coast in the 1960s, the government and local fishermen took notice.

Because it is cheap and abundant and freezes well, it soon became so popular that it started showing up on fast food menus, rivaling the popularity of buffalo chicken wings and jalapeño poppers. In 2013, the New York catch was worth $8 million.

Sean Barrett of Dock to Dish calls our long-fin squid “a darling of versatility in the kitchen and sustainability in the ocean.” The only inedible parts are the beak and gladius (pen). It is a good source of zinc, manganese, and is high in copper, selenium, B12, and riboflavin. Squid grows fast and spawns several times a year. It is not an “apex” or alpha predator in the food chain and is low in toxins like mercury. As various factors have decimated some squid predators like sharks, tuna, and cod, the squid have been able to multiply.

North Atlantic squid can be found in waters from Newfoundland to Venezuela. There is a bridge in Newport, R.I., that is so popular for squid jigging that it has been nicknamed the Calamari Causeway.

When buying at the market, look for squid that is shiny and firm, not saggy like a deflated balloon. It should smell fresh and ocean-y. The thin, dull membrane covering it should be grey rather than pink or purple. You can buy it cleaned or tackle that job yourself. James Peterson’s encyclopedic volume “Fish and Shellfish” has thorough instructions and illustrations on how to do this.

I found it interesting that many local cookbooks don’t contain recipes for squid. Not “The East Hampton L.V.I.S. Centennial Cookbook” or “Hamptons Weekends” or “The Beach House Cookbook” or “The Hamptons and Long Island Homegrown Cookbook.” There are a few recipes in “The Seafood Cookbook” by Pierre Franey and Bryan Miller, and my favorite, “Foods of Long Island” by Peggy Katalinich, but even those keep it restricted to fried and pasta dishes. 

For the adventurous cook, I recommend looking into Italian, Japanese, Chinese, and Korean cookbooks. David Chang’s “Lucky Peach” cookbook has a recipe for quickly blanched squid rings in a grapefruit salad with garlic, fish sauce, and mint. Kylie Kwong’s “Simple Chinese Cooking” has a cornstarch and flour battered squid with salt and pepper and Sichuan peppercorns that sounds so good, I might even be brave enough to try it.

Squid is versatile, inexpensive, healthy, available year round, and delicious, so don’t be a little scaredy cat like me; try some of these recipes at home.

Click for recipes

Travel Foods

The Rogers Memorial Library is taking names for a program by Jeanne Schnupp, “Foods to Travel By: A Lunch­time Cheese Tasting and Cho­colate Fondue Party,” taking place at noon on Wednesday. 

Registration is $5 and is required by Sunday by calling the library or going to myrml.org. 

Fresh Juices

Juice Press, a chain offering fresh juices, is adding an East Hampton shop to its stores in Bridgehampton and Southampton. All three will open for the summer on May 23. 

The Juice Press menu includes more than 85 beverages along with foods such as salads, soups, and raw foods and snacks. It will be located in the shopping cove at 55 Main Street. 

Red Maple

Red Maple, the “rustic American” restaurant and bar at the Chequit inn on Shelter Island, has added weekend lunch and brunch service for the 2016 season. 

Lunch is offered on Saturdays from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., and brunch is served on Sundays from 10 a.m. till 3 p.m. 

Over the Water

At Bay Kitchen Bar, which just reopened for the season at Harbor Marina in Springs, a $34, four-course chef’s tasting menu is served on Sunday, Wednesday, and Thursday, but only to early birds who order before 6:30 p.m. Soft-shelled crabs are in season, the restaurant has noted.

Bring Your Own

At the Bridgehampton Inn, dinner is served on Wednesday through Sunday, with a prix fixe offered before 7 p.m. There is no corkage fee charged on Sundays. 

Winemaker Talk Rescheduled

The final tasting and talk in a wine education workshop series at Wainscott Main Wine and Spirits took place yesterday, after a session with Roman Roth of Wolffer Vineyards and Roanoke Vine­yards was rescheduled. 

Mr. Roth will be on the agenda when the popular series resumes in October.

If pizza is an expression of its maker, Gennaro Giugliano has found his true calling.    

“It’s the crust. The sauce has to be good, too. And don’t forget about the cheese,” said Mr. Giugliano, pizza maker extraordinaire at the Red Horse Market in East Hampton. “Anybody can make pizza, but you also need a heart. Without that, it doesn’t come out the way you want it to.”

All told, between the Red Horse Market and its prior incarnation, Tutto Italiano, an Italian specialty store owned by Citarella, Mr. Giugliano has made pizza in East Hampton for the past 11 years. 

Red Horse Market has hit its stride. Last July and August, it sold 12,000 pizzas and nearly 40,000 pounds of fresh mozzarella. 

Now 64, this coming summer will be Mr. Giugliano’s last at the pizza oven. “It’s too much. It’s a demanding job. It’s not like I’m 20 anymore,” he said, during a recent lunchtime rush, wearing his usual uniform of checkered chef’s pants, black sneakers, and a white apron. “You finally hit a certain age.”

Last summer, he was on his feet 13 to 14 hours each day, not including his daily commute from Bohemia, which averages anywhere between one to three hours. Come next January, he plans to retire, just two days shy of his 65th birthday.  

Mr. Giugliano was born in a small town near Naples, Italy. His mother was a homemaker, raising four sons and one daughter. His father worked as a carpenter. 

In 1970, with the Italian economy in ruins, the family arrived in the United States in search of a better life. Mr. Giugliano lived first in East New York, Brooklyn. At 18, he spoke not a word of English and learned the skill of pizza making from his older brother. At 24, he married and moved to Bensonhurst, near Coney Island, where he and his wife raised their two children, now 30 and 35.

After 18 years of marriage, they divorced. Mr. Giugliano moved first to Pennsylvania and later to Columbus, Ohio, to help a friend who had opened a pizzeria. 

Eleven years ago his phone rang. Pasquale Langella, 59, his brother-in-law, was on the other end, hoping to lure Mr. Giugliano back to Long Island. At the time, Tutto Italiano needed a pizza maker, and Mr. Langella knew just the guy for the job. 

In 2012, the Red Horse Market opened its doors. Mr. Langella now runs it alongside his two partners: Pedro Pineda, the specialty butcher, and Jeff Lange, the general manager. Mr. Langella makes fresh mozzarella every day in a giant tub of 190-degree water. During the high season, he makes anywhere between 400 to 600 pounds a day. His all-time record was last May, on the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend, when he made 735 pounds of mozzarella. 

Meanwhile, on the other side of the market, Mr. Giugliano keeps watch over his 525-degree oven. He never sets a timer, instinctively knowing when it’s ready. A large pie cooks for 7 to 10 minutes, while a small pie takes only 5 to 7. Midway through, Mr. Giugliano pulls out a giant fork and squashes down the crust to prevent the dough from puffing up. 

The crust is thin and crunches in your mouth. The most popular item is the pepperoni pizza, followed by sausage, and then mushroom. A large cheese pizza costs $18 and a small one costs $7. The market also sells round discs of homemade pizza dough.

Giovanni Carlos, a 35-year-old native of Ecuador, prepares the tomato sauce and dough, both whole-wheat and regular. Each day, he makes one to three batches of dough. One batch yields 192 small pizzas. Despite repeated attempts, Mr. Carlos refused to disclose his recipe, saying only that the ingredients are high-quality and made using fresh basil, kosher salt, and extra virgin olive oil. 

Six days a week, Mr. Giugliano can be found guarding his usual post — endlessly stretching dough, spreading tomato sauce, and sprinkling it with shredded mozzarella cheese. “I’m counting down the days,” Mr. Giugliano said. “Before the summer even starts, I’ve got 100 days behind me.”

A 6-month-old grandson, Steven, who lives in New Jersey, has spurred Mr. Giugliano toward retirement. He is determined not to miss out on his childhood. “I’m going to teach my grandson how to make a pizza.”

Of his trim physique, Mr. Giugliano says he indulges in his own food, albeit sparingly: “I like good food. I like good wine. But I have to stay away — or I’ll be like Pasquale.”

Season’s Openings

The Beacon restaurant in Sag Harbor opened yesterday for the 2016 season. Dinner is being served starting at 6 p.m., Wednesdays through Mondays. The chef, Sam McCleland, will be adding new seasonal dishes to the tried-and-true menu choices. 

The Greenwich is a New American restaurant taking the place of Red Stixs in Water Mill. Carmine Di Giovanni is the chef, and David Schulman and Sean Kehlenbeck the restaurateurs behind the new place, whose principals have been involved in the Greenwich Project, the Mulberry Project, and Aunt Jake’s. 

Farmers markets are beginning again. The Hayground School market in Bridgehampton opens tomorrow, with Friday hours each week from 3 to 6 p.m. at the school grounds on Mitchell Lane. 

The East Hampton farmers market, which sets up in the Nick and Toni’s parking lot on North Main Street, launches for the season on Friday, May 27, and will continue weekly from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m., rain or shine, until early September.

The Amagansett Food Institute’s market on Main Street, in the Amagansett Farmers Market building, will also reopen on Friday, May 27. It will stay open over Memorial Day weekend and then each Thursday through Sunday from 7 a.m. till 7 p.m., selling produce from various farms and food products from different vendors. Opening weekend will include music by Job Potter and afternoon tastings by Wyse Organics and Sweet ’Tauk Lemonade.

For Little Leaguers

The Harbor Grill in East Hampton is offering Little League players who come in for a bite after games, still in uniform, a half-price deal on burgers and a free scoop of ice cream. 

Sole East Anniversary

Sole East resort in Montauk, which houses the Backyard Restaurant, will celebrate its 10th anniversary this weekend. Festivities include a cocktail party from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. on Saturday with free hors d’oeuvres, wine, beer, and signature cocktails. Musical performances, part of the Montauk Music Festival, will take place throughout the weekend. Dinner will be served today through Sunday beginning at 5:30 p.m., and lunch will be served as well on the weekend.

Mediterranean Lemon and Herb Marinade

This versatile marinade from “Plated” would be good with meat, chicken, fish, shellfish, and vegetables. I think it would be especially good on grilled shrimp.

Makes half a cup.

Leaves from 4 sprigs fresh oregano, finely chopped

Leaves from 2 sprigs fresh rosemary, finely chopped

Leaves from 2 sprigs fresh thyme, finely chopped

3 cloves garlic, chopped

1 lemon, zested and juiced

1/2 tsp. crushed red pepper

1/4 cup olive oil

Combine. Done!

Szechuan-style Green Beans

This recipe is from “It’s All Easy.” I would recommend against using olive oil for Asian-style dishes. The flavor is wasted and neutral oils such as peanut can withstand higher heat. 

Serves four, but not really. I suggest using 12 ounces green beans and increasing the sauce accordingly.

Salt

2 tsp. minced fresh ginger

2 tsp. sambal oelek

1 Tbsp. tamari

1 tsp. toasted sesame oil

1 tsp. maple syrup

1/2 lb. green beans 

3 Tbsp. olive oil or peanut oil (Please use peanut.)

Toasted sesame seeds for garnish, optional.

Bring large pot of salted water to boil for green beans.

In a small bowl, combine next five ingredients to make sauce.

Add green beans to boiling water and cook just until water comes back to a boil, about three minutes. Drain well and dry on kitchen towel.

Heat oil in large sauté pan or wok over high heat. When oil is very hot but not smoking, add green beans and cook until sizzling and beginning to blister, about three minutes. Add sauce. Turn off heat, and let sit for two minutes before serving. Garnish with sesame seeds if desired.

Lynn’s Lemonade

This is a base recipe from which many other cocktails at Lynn’s Hula Hut are made.

Makes one gallon.

1 gallon non-carbonated spring water, warmed slightly

1/2 to 1 cup agave nectar, to taste

6 lemons

Pour spring water into large glass pitcher, making sure to leave enough room for lemons and nectar. Add agave nectar and stir till dissolved.

Roll lemons on a hard surface to release juice from the fruit pulp. Slice them in half and strain the juice using a mini strainer or citrus press. Add to pitcher and stir well. Chill.

There are three new cookbooks with local ties — “Plated: Weeknight Dinners, Weekend Feasts, and Everything In Between” by Elana Karp and Suzanne Dumaine, “Tiki With a Twist” by Lynn Calvo with James O. Fraioli, and “It’s All Easy” by Gwyneth Paltrow with Thea Baumann.

“Plated” is an offshoot of a company by the same name that provides fresh, pre-portioned ingredients with chef-designed recipes. The company uses local, sustainably sourced ingredients, and the focus is on seasonality. Ms. Karp comes with a background in school-based food education programs, and Ms. Dumaine was a recipe contributor for the Food Network. There is certainly plenty of gravitas to those backgrounds, but when you read “we discuss our lunch options before we eat breakfast, spend hours contemplating the best melty cheese, posit hundreds of recipe ideas a week — and light up in the presence of a new restaurant, dish, or food destination,” you know you are about to go on a journey with real foodies.

The book begins with basics: the tools you need, pantry items, the importance of knife skills, etc. It is not intimidating or overly descriptive. Next are dry rubs, marinades, dressings, sauces, and condiments — again, simple, direct, and doable. The best section is next: weeknight dinners. The recipes range from simple roast chicken to risottos, steak, fish, and pastas. Each page has the master recipe and includes seasonable vegetable add-ins, a la Mark Bittman’s columns from The New York Times. For instance, your spring risotto could include asparagus and fava beans, while in the fall you could add seasonably available chanterelles or cremini mushrooms.

Next comes a chapter on leftovers, always a good idea and occasionally a challenge. There are weekend feasts, a bit more labor-intensive, dishes for a crowd, and a few themed meals like “date night.” The menus range from the cozy and relatively simple — Sunday night roast chicken with apple and fennel salad, green beans, and chocolate brioche bread pudding — to the more elaborate — Peking duck with sweet chile eggplant. I did find one boo-boo, however. In the recipe for Key lime pie, the ingredients list calls for 50 Key limes to yield a half cup of juice. I have made many Key lime pies in my life, with the real Key limes, and while they are small, I assure you, you do not need 50 to get a half cup of juice.

This would be a good book for beginner cooks as well as the more experienced. The emphasis on tailoring a basic dish to what is seasonably available is a welcome twist.

When I first skimmed through “Tiki With a Twist,” I thought, “Oh, c’mon, how many variations on a sugary rum drink can you come up with?” Then I read the book from cover to cover and discovered that this isn’t just a book with “75 cool, fresh, and wild tropical drinks,” it is a travelogue, an adventure, an education, and it is as fun as can be. Ms. Calvo, the proprietor of Montauk’s very cool Lynn’s Hula Hut located at the Montauk Marine Basin, has had many, many adventures in her life and shares anecdotes from motorcycle trips through the Mayan Riviera to the Virgin Islands and more.

The book begins with the basics like glassware, infusions, juices to have on hand, purees, and how to tell if a pineapple is ripe. She helpfully points out how long these concoctions will last in the fridge and that many — such as fennel and orange or hot mango puree — can be used as salad dressings and seafood toppers. If you are inclined to go the whole tiki couture route, Ms. Calvo shares resources for cocktail umbrellas, goofy glasses, coconut shells, edible orchids, sparklers, and so on. 

The chapters go from the Hula Hut’s signature cocktails to martini-style, coconut-based, frozen Bloody Mary variations to “classics with a twist.” Ms. Calvo has an herby garden nearby and shops at the Montauk farmers market for ingredients, so freshness is emphasized in a most inspiring way.

When you find yourself dog-earring pages, dreaming of tropical oases, and buying the ingredients you just read about, that is the sign of a good recipe book. The tone is breezy, the narrative informative, and the drinks delicious.

Good news, everybody! Gwyneth Paltrow’s new book, “It’s All Easy” is way mo’ better than the last one. You may recall the last book was a punishing, ill-informed litany of blood parasites, panic attacks, psychospiritual nutrition (WTF?), anthroposophical medicine, and one cup of xylitol. Gwyneth was forbidden by one of her doctors from indulging in coffee, alcohol, oats, dairy, sugar, shellfish, gluten, and soy. Well, guess what? This new book is full of gooey grilled cheese sandwiches, bacon, spaghetti carbonara, truffle oil, and chicken tenders with barbecue sauce. She drinks wine and coffee.

Dare I say this book is verging on “Barefoot Contessa Lite”? Ina Garten’s last book was “How Easy Is That.” Like a bird’s call and response, this new book is titled “It’s All Easy.”

Similar to her previous cookbooks, this one is filled with photos of the author in cozy sweaters, in bare feet, in staggeringly beautiful settings. Unlike many celebrity parents, she is not averse to also having a gazillion pictures of her children, Apple and Moses, in the book.

The premise of the book is meals that “can be made in the time it would take to order less healthy takeout.” It is a “self-help book for the chronically busy cook.” I don’t know what that means. Stress is mentioned a lot, as are soccer practices, soccer matches, and soccer. I get the feeling this book is geared towards super busy, stressed out soccer moms who can’t figure out what to put on the table, just like Gwyneth and her friends Beyonce and Jessica Seinfeld. Really? Really?

The book is co-authored by Thea Baumann, the food editor of GOOP, and is laid out by pantry staples, then breakfast, “On the Go,” “Pick Me Ups,” “in a pinch,” and so on. The pantry suggestions are waaaay more than the average cook needs, so don’t feel compelled to buy every esoteric ingredient listed. The “Plated” book’s list is far more realistic for the home cook.

Some of the “On the Go” recipes, such as bibimbap — full of kimchi, scallions, and garlic — are said to be “good for airplanes.” Something tells me Gwyneth is not going to be flying coach class next to me with that uber-fragrant concoction!

Aside from a few painful proclamations (of both the grammatical and culinary variety) like “I try to eat healthy and detox my body as much as possible,” the book really is filled with some delicious-sounding items. I tried two recipes, the Szechuan-style green beans and zucchini cacio e pepe, a riff on spaghetti but substituting zoodles (spiralized zucchini). The Szechuan green beans were excellent, although offering only an eighth of a pound per person makes this recipe more of a garnish than an actual portion. The zucchini cacio e pepe had good flavor (thanks to the whole cup of grated Parmesan cheese!) but acquired a gluey texture from the moisture of cold zucchini strands mixed with cheese. I baked the leftovers and it was then quite tasty, if a bit watery. 

There’s not a lot of originality: The basic tomato sauce recipe is the exact same one from the previous book, but dishes like miso turnips and cauliflower tabbouleh (a favorite at the annual GOOP detox!) sound worthwhile.

I am glad that G.P. is no longer punishing her body with a bunch of ascetic hooey; her avocado toast now has bacon, and the taquitos have shredded Mexican cheese blend, and pancetta has its rightful place in her rich carbonara.

“It’s All Easy” isn’t necessarily all easy, but it is a lot more palatable.

Click for recipes

I like to drink, but I don’t like to get drunk. If I’m going to drink with alacrity I do it at home or within walking distance of home. Do I even need to say you people should drink responsibly? Call a cab if you’ve had one too many out on the town, or have a designated driver. Our roads are dangerous enough, what with all the dumb deer and city folk in Escalades.

Now that we’ve gotten that public service announcement out of the way, let’s talk about late-night drunkie food. This is the food you crave in the wee hours after a long, fun evening of lager and shouting. I spoke with one of East Hampton town’s finest, who informed me that bars out here can stay open until 4 a.m. He also suggested I consult the New York State Liquor Authority to find out the specific closing times of particular bars. 

When I attempted to do this, I got so overwhelmed by the website’s morass of government twaddle I gave up. And had a drink. Kidding! If you’re interested in finding out how late your favorite drinking hole stays open, contact it directly. 

Montauk, which used to be referred to as “a drinking town with a fishing problem,” has plenty of options for your late-night fat and salt cravings. South Edison offers Disco Fries, smothered in braised short ribs, cotija cheese, rich brown gravy, and herbs. The Borracho, (which means “drunk” in Spanish) is chicken tinga with salsa verde, cotija, jalapeños, crema, and cilantro. And who doesn’t love a big bowl of truffle fries at 1 a.m.? 

You can also always get a slice at Pizza Village, which is open until . . . closing. If you’re going to hold out until breakfast time, Westlake Fish House starts serving a very reasonably priced breakfast at 5 a.m.

For people who live in the city, finding food or transportation at any time of the day is not difficult. You can get Szechuan pork dumplings delivered to your door. You can find matcha green tea doughnuts at any Doughnut Plant location, and pizza 24/7. Out here, there are very few delivery choices. So unless you’re willing to punish your stomach and hate yourself in the morning (oh, wait, it already is morning) by going to 7-Eleven for a nasty hot dog or “custard” filled doughnut, you have very few options. 

The solution? Make your own late-night drunkie food by mastering some satisfying, squiffy dishes. Your bleary-eyed, rum-soaked pals will thank you.

Why do our bodies crave these fatty, salty, not-so-healthy foods when we are inebriated? Fat is the most energy-dense food, and as mammals, we gravitate towards that. But when we’re sober we are, hopefully, more disciplined about our eating habits. We also have a brain chemical called galanin, which increases our appetite for fats. Drinking alcohol bumps up our galanin production, which is stimulated by triglycerides (converted calories stored in fat cells), which are released by fat and alcohol. In other words, it’s kind of a vicious circle. And that is why you crave a big ol’ breakfast of pancakes and bacon instead of a salad after a long night of drinking, according to Popular Science magazine.

Most cultures have some version of late-night drunkie food. In Singapore you can find chicken rice at all hours of the day, but you’ll find most people slurping this up at 3 a.m. It is chicken poached with ginger and other spices, hacked up and served with rice that has been boiled with chicken fat. In Canada, most specifically Quebec, poutine is considered the national dish. It is a pretty gross combination of French fries topped with cheese curds and gravy. Cheese curds are the result of milk being pasteurized, then cooked, then separated from the whey. When fresh, cheese curds squeak when chewed, or sound like “balloons trying to neck,” as The New York Times described them. 

When my son attended McGill University in Montreal, we sampled all manner of poutine, from the underground subway food courts to the high-end Martin Picard’s Au Pied du Cochon version, topped with foie gras. Oof.

In Japan, where good manners are revered and restraint is required, there is no social stigma about getting rip-roaring drunk and throwing up in public. They even have binge drinking bars called nomihodai, where for a set fee and certain time frame, you can drink all you want. After this, you go out and gorge on okonomiyaki, a kind of kitchen-sink pancake. (Okonomi means “whatever you want.”) They actually eat these with miniature trowels or spatulas, which somehow seems appropriate. 

I have fallen in love with this essentially cabbage pancake with pickled ginger and scallions and like to make it in advance of late-night shenanigans. All I have to do is heat it up and serve it to my banjaxed and befuggered buddies.

A friend who just moved from Sag Harbor to Berlin says the Germans have become obsessed with “the hamburger movement.” Yes, apparently, they’ve just discovered hamburgers. The bars don’t close until the last patron is gone, so the tourist guidebooks offer the gentle reminder “don’t forget to leave because they won’t kick you out.”

Once you are done with your bier consumption, you can go get currywurst, a white, fat sausage, sliced, fried, served with French fries, and topped with chopped red onion, mayonnaise, homemade ketchup, and a dusting of curry powder. How do they come up with some of these things???

When I was a young lass I spent plenty of time at the Stephen Talkhouse. It had a great jukebox filled with Motown hits. We’d stay until closing and then go to Astro’s for a slice of pizza that cost 55 cents. (We couldn’t go to Smuggler’s Cove, because I had waitressed there and I was a really bad waitress.) 

My friends and I are lucky we survived so many long, late, tequila-shot-infused evenings. Summer is upon us, along with the crowds and the parties and traffic. So before you reach for that “source of happiness and oblivion,” please remember to drink responsibly, take a cab or have a designated driver, and master a few of these late-night drunkie tummy blotters.

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This spring I had the honor of moderating the Peconic Land Trust’s “Long Island Grown: Food and Beverage Artisans at Work” panels for the third time. Sponsored by Edible East End, they manage to get the best people from the North and South Forks who are involved in farming, fishing, winemaking, beekeeping, baking, duck wrangling, cooking, mushroom growing, candy creating, fermenting, brewing, and more.

The sessions, which are held at the Bridge Gardens in Bridgehampton, are always followed by what they simply refer to as “refreshments.” It is more like a feast, created mostly by Rick Bogusch, the magic green thumb and chef extraordinaire of Bridge Gardens. Homemade paté with pistachios and apricots, kale pesto, warm blue cheese dip with garlic and bacon, sheep’s milk cheese with cranberries, and flourless chocolate cake. Roman Roth of Wolffer Vineyards may bring a fresh and sprightly rosé, Vaughn Cutillo of Montauk Brewing presented us with a growler full of a brand new I.P.A.

Each season when I am told who the panelists will be, I feel like a pimply teenage boy who has been practicing “Stairway to Heaven” on his dinky guitar and I’ve just been asked to fill in for Jimmy Page. (That’s a little Led Zeppelin humor, folks.) I am that in awe of these local heroes; they are rock stars.

This year’s sessions included the chefs Kevin Penner, Joe Realmuto, Noah Schwartz, and yours truly. Kevin Penner was excellent because he is smart and has strong opinions, Joe Realmuto brought the gravitas of years of experience running numerous restaurants, Nick and Toni’s being the swellest. Noah Schwartz was adorable — he brought his parents and lobster-stuffed deviled eggs from his eponymous restaurant in Greenport.

Highlights of the past panels were Michael Kontokosta of Kontokosta Winery explaining why the winery frowns upon those big ol’ limousines full of bachelorettes coming to get bombed and not much else, Nadia Ernestus of Hamptons Brine explaining the probiotic benefits of raw fermented foods, and watching Mirijana and Keith Knott of Wild Feast Foods whip up the freshest ceviche with mango and microgreens.

This past Sunday’s guests were to be Alexander Damianos of Pindar and Duck Walk Vineyards, Patty DiVello of Patties Berries and Bunches, and Tom Wickham of Wickham’s Fruit Farm. I had researched the Damianos family history of grape growing and winemaking on the North Fork. Alexander’s father, Dr. Herodotus Damianos, was one of the first winemakers there, along with Alex and Louisa Hargrave. He had a conflict at the last minute and sent his tasting room manager, Michael Krummenacker, in his stead. This was most entertaining, because apparently a lot of the Real Housewives (New York, Beverly Hills) love to drink and film at Duck Walk. Along with the Kardashians and the cast of “Mob Wives.” But all I wanted to know was “What the heck is blueberry port?!” We did find out during the refreshments portion of the afternoon.

Patty was a bit shy and hard to draw out, but she came alive when describing the teenager in a stolen car who plowed through a row of raspberry bushes and the unsolved mystery of 2007, when someone burgled 11 blueberry bushes. Horrors!

Mr. Wickham warned me ahead of time that he might go on and on, and he did, but he was such an engaging speaker, professorial and kind, that it was worth every extra word. Mr. Krummenacker was a hoot, funny and full of tasting room tidbits, like trying to get one of the Mob Wives to clean up her potty mouth. I forgot to ask myself questions about being a pastry chef, but I did bring sticky toffee date cakes and ginger snaps.

We learned what a Belshaw Adamatic Donut Robot is, and that Mr. Wickham’s wife named the Empire apple. Ms. DiVello’s favorite berry is the first Early Glow strawberry of June, and the Real Housewives like rosé. A lot.

The question-and-answer portions are always informative as well. We often get the Quail Hill farm apprentices, and everyone in the room is like-minded. We all care about the future of farming and fishing, we like knowing that the wheat for Carissa Waechter’s bread comes from Amber Waves, andhat the fields that once only grew potatoes now grow hops for beer and raise bison, and cows and sheep and goats for cheese, and organic mushrooms and berries and all other forms of fruit and vegetables. We also like the refreshing adult beverages served with Mr. Bogusch’s delicious offerings at the end of each session.

Here’s to the hard-working folks of the Peconic Land Trust and Edible East End and all the women and men taking care of our seas and bees and land.

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