Living

 Very long ago, I read the words "out on the wine-dark sea" in Homer's "Odyssey," first as a student, then as a teacher of world literature. Homer the poet was besotted with the Aegean Sea, and I, as student and teacher, was besotted with Homer, though not yet inclined to dally in the waves and tides that sourced his ecstatic reflections.

'The ancient of the salt sea haunts this place . . . '

When she heard that other municipalities had ceased holding Bingo games with money on the line, Diane Patrizio, East Hampton Town's director of human services, decided to check on East Hampton's own license to conduct the game at its senior center. She discovered that the license had expired.

When it comes to at-home care on the East End, those who need help are finding it, well, hard to find. Factors like long driving distances to reach clients and a perceived lack of competitive wages for aides make the home nursing field challenging to navigate from both perspectives.

From classic movies to hands-on activities and educational resources, there are plenty of ways older adults can relax and socialize together at local libraries, cultural institutions, and the town senior center. Here is a curated selection of upcoming events that promise to be entertaining and informative (mainly free, unless otherwise indicated).

Memoirs have the ability to touch us more deeply than a work of fiction. What does that say about us? Many of us are interested in other people's lives — not only what happened to them but how the experience shaped and affected them.

In a 2021 survey, the National Funeral Directors Association revealed that only 36 percent of adults have ever had a conversation with loved ones ahead of time about what they want to have happen when they eventually die. Considering it's inevitable, the experts say that pre-planning for your own "final expenses" is one way to ease your loved ones' grief when it finally occurs. The Star asked a local expert, Ken Yardley of the Yardley and Pino Funeral Homes, for his take on funeral pre-planning. Here's what he had to say.

As autumn quickly gets colder and darker, it's the perfect time to pull up a comfy chair, make a piping-hot beverage, and settle in with a good book. This curated list includes a selection of memoir, historical fiction, crime fiction, and more -- both brand-new and recently released — that are also available in accessible formats like audio and large print. New copies can be found in bookstores throughout the East End, including BookHampton in East Hampton Village, Sag Harbor Books, and Barnes & Noble in Bridgehampton — or put your library card to good use and pick up any of these titles from your local library.

In recent years, genealogy research has grown in popularity, as people are curious to discover such details about their family history. The rise of accessible DNA technology and the digitization of census data and historical documents have greatly expanded access to information.

Devon Leaver, a daughter of Suzanne and Brian Leaver of Amagansett, and Xavier De Cardenas, the son of Evangeline and Frank De Cardenas of Roselle, N.J., were married on Nov. 9 at Montauk Downs. The Rev. Joe Iadanza officiated.

Loralee Ryan and Michael Brown were married on Oct. 20 at Bill Miller’s Castle in Branford, Conn. The bride’s sister, Robin Ryan, officiated.

Louisa Sidney White and Eliot Graeme Sperling of Washington, D.C., were married on Saturday at St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church in Charleston, S.C. The Rev. Dr. Adam Shoemaker officiated.

Emilie Erica Stoll and Jean Carlo Barrientos, who were married on Friday at Navy Beach in Montauk, still remember the exact date they met: July 23, 2014. They had both finished their freshman years at college. They were at the beach. “He was surfing the hurricane swell at Napeague that evening while she was going for a sunset dip,” they wrote. “He came up to her as she was walking back towards the parking lot and asked her name, and the rest is history.”

Leland E. Winslow and Chelsea C. Walker were married on Sept. 22, the anniversary of their first date, at East Wind in Wading River.

Jennifer Johanna Mula and Gabriel Joseph Greenberg got engaged in Amagansett Square on Aug. 6.

Daniel Rose Marrow of Washington, D.C., and Julia Cuddihy Butz of New York City were married on Saturday in the rose garden at the groom’s family home on Ocean Avenue near East Hampton’s Main Beach.

Driving a car is a rite of passage in New York State when you're a teenager, a lifeline to a livelihood when you're an adult raising a family, and a means to maintain independence as you age. Handing over the keys, then, is one of the toughest transitions an elderly person will face.

True collectors, whether of teacups or tractor seats, are a breed apart, detached from the rest of us by the intensity of their passions. I once knew an older woman who collected manhole covers, dozens of which hung like works of art on the walls of her garage. You couldn't walk with her along the lane without stopping every 500 feet or so while she bent over and peered down.

"The unconditional love of a pet can do more than keep you company. Pets may also decrease stress, improve heart health, and even help children with their emotional and social skills," according to the National Institutes of Health. Kim Nichols, executive director of the Animal Rescue Fund of the Hamptons, weighed in on this topic in a question-and-answer session with The Star.

Community institutions like libraries, museums, and government organizations are offering interesting ways for older adults to find enjoyment, meet new friends, learn about history, and stay physically fit.

OK. I’m 76. Maybe you're 76, too. Surely, somebody out there reading this is 76. Or, older. Or, more likely, younger. So. 76. Not great. I think it was Bette Davis who said, "Old age ain't no place for sissies."

"Aging is different now," said Diane Patrizio, director of human services for East Hampton Town. She points out that the senior center serves people spanning at least two generations, from ages 60 to 100. Some go to Florida for the winter, others are lower-income. Some are frail, but most are active, she said, and "doing really well."

Long Island’s South Fork, known for beaches, maritime history, and fancy people, is also known for its hedges. Hedge installation and maintenance are big business, and there could be a whole book about hedges, with different varieties popular during different eras. In the last decade, for example, the “green giant,” a now ubiquitous tree, has been placed along property lines throughout the Hamptons. It’s here to stay, and grow, and grow.

It takes understated talent and a keen eye for a designer to balance her personal aesthetic with those of a client. "I consider it high praise when a client's family or friends walk into the space and say it's a reflection of the client and doesn't feel designed," said Delia Kenza, an interior designer based in Sag Harbor and Brooklyn.

Here's a guide to growing and enjoying your best tomato-flavored life, thanks to Matthew Quick, the farm manager for the nonprofit Share the Harvest Farm, and Marilee Foster, who typically grows 100 varieties each year on her Sagaponack farm.

The first thing Arthur Beckenstein sees when he steps out of his bedroom every morning is a lush spread of vibrant, earthy color. Maybe it's a textured greenish-brown in the winter, but come spring, summer, and fall, fresh pops of emerald, lime, yellow, purple, and red fill his field of view. It's not a painting. Rather, it's a landscape — a rooftop garden atop a one-story section of his house, visible from the second-floor windows. A green roof, to be exact.

For gardeners and landscapers seeking four-season interest, low maintenance, and environmental impact, trees check off all the boxes. Plus, they offer shade for sitting areas, a backdrop for a garden, and nesting places for birds, among ecological benefits. Just as there’s no irrigation watering trees in a forest, it is not needed for the established trees in your yard. The time and money saved on irrigation and maintenance might feel liberating.

Ever wonder about the long ribbon of pink and white hibiscus blooming at the entrance to the village in late summer, or the flower-filled meadow between Accabonac Road and Methodist Lane? These are working rain gardens that slow, capture, and filter rainwater and road runoff as the water makes its way through the Hook Pond watershed and eventually into the ocean. They are successful examples of a natural solution to a water pollution problem.

Liz and Joe Sanicola’s house in East Quogue is a modern homesteading paradise — the ultimate intersection between home and garden.

In the summer months, under the immaculately tended giant rhododendron stand in Henry and Martha Murray's backyard on Further Lane in Amagansett, their young grandchildren can be glimpsed darting in and out of the canopy of fuchsia blossoms, visible one second, gone the next.

Sleigh bells ring: Are you listening? Here’s our carefully curated selection of the holly-est, jolliest events between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day.